Episode 138: The Sound Quality Is Inaudible

with Boots Raingear, Jimmyfranks, Isfahan, Frank West, Portaxx, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Lady Frenzy.

Edited by Jimmyfranks.

It's easy to wax poetic on the trancendant power of music as an art form. What goes beyond words, beyond thought, and into a pure rhythmic experience can change you irrevocably. And then you hear a Ke$ha song and wish music never existed. We're looking at extreme audiophiles - people who experience music in such a way that it can only be quantified by large sums of money spent on useless crap. This week, The F Plus ruins your speaker cables with our negative energy.


MUSIC USED
  1. Autograph - Turn Up The Radio
  2. Pixies - Planet Of Sound
ADDITIONAL FUN

Last Updated on Tuesday, 24 June 2014 07:51  

Comments   

 
0 #38 biscuitdough 2014-06-13 01:19
I feel the need for the fplus community to orchestrate a Patrick82 Dozerfleet crossover event. Pay for Blood Over Water digitally remastered by Coconut Audio, that or a cage match. they're such kindred spirits.
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0 #37 hooves n shit 2014-06-12 13:57
Quoting Skye Sharpe:
I think you are vastly overestimating the sanity of the consumers here, and the morality of the salesmen. We're literally talking about a bag of rocks that somehow makes listening to music fucking cosmic.

That being said, I do want to try the validity of some of these things. Not by buying from the insane stores, mind you, but just by putting my speakers on springs and seeing if it makes them any better.


honestly, that probably will? pretty much anything to isolate the speakers from surfaces that might resonate with them will help. lots of studios either use acoustic foam pads or suspend the speakers on cables to isolate them. i've seen entire studios on isolating springs before, too.

really, though, the cheapest solutions will likely do just fine in this regard.
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+4 #36 future tv producer 2014-06-08 19:04
Quoting Warhol Superstar:
'The corners are flattened, so it wouldn't even make a good bludgeon.'

Just one of the reasons why Isfahan is my favorite Reader.

All we need now is for Isfahan to develop a genuine, overwhelming fear of an impending Cytran invasion and we will have the best episode of Doomsday Preppers ever filmed.
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+2 #35 Portaxx the Sane 2014-06-08 18:43
Quoting forthelove:

I'm too lazy to make individual cartoons of your jokes so I try to put 'em all in one, with varying degrees of success.
Quoting Portaxx the Sane:
Do you have any idea how much a human pancreas sells on the black market?
You're really going beyond the call of duty to fund your Squishable projects...


Oh I don't do it for profit, dude. Dismemberment is purely for the thrill of--hahaha holy shit the Mickey Mouse ears in this! A+
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+11 #34 forthelove 2014-06-08 18:14

I'm too lazy to make individual cartoons of your jokes so I try to put 'em all in one, with varying degrees of success.
Quoting Portaxx the Sane:
Do you have any idea how much a human pancreas sells on the black market?
You're really going beyond the call of duty to fund your Squishable projects...
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+4 #33 Lady Frenzy 2014-06-08 02:44
Quoting Portaxx the Sane:

Selling the organs of his victims.


I wonder what he uses as his murder weapon, since we know he can't bludgeon people to death with a Black Body.
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+2 #32 Portaxx the Sane 2014-06-08 00:37
Quoting Spacebat:
If Patrick82 is to be believed, his cables alone cost $513,000.

Where the hell does he get money for this crazy bullshit?


Selling the organs of his victims. Do you have any idea how much a human pancreas sells on the black market? Especially when you hot glue uncooked macaroni and sparkles onto it?

(still not crazy)
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+1 #31 Spacebat 2014-06-08 00:32
If Patrick82 is to be believed, his cables alone cost $513,000.

Where the hell does he get money for this crazy bullshit?
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+4 #30 Isfahan 2014-06-07 18:56
And you know what? You're my favorite commenter!

Quoting Miles Beavis:
This episode is about people who literally blame "negative energy" when someone can't hear the alleged sound quality improvement from a $2000 "ambient field conditioner" (an empty box that sits near your stereo).


Not just anyone, but blaming negative energy when they themselves cannot hear the alleged sound quality improvement from a $2,000 ambient field conditioner!
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+3 #29 Warhol Superstar 2014-06-07 14:55
'The corners are flattened, so it wouldn't even make a good bludgeon.'

Just one of the reasons why Isfahan is my favorite Reader.
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+3 #28 insufferable 2014-06-06 14:22
After reading more posts in the patrick82 girlfriend thread, I've come to the conclusion the solution to his problem is to attach a fleshlight to his audio system - because that system is the only thing he will ever be able to love.

(Looking forward to the follow-up episode where it turns out my joke isn't just some throwaway gag and that there are actually people who have sex with their audio systems.)
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+4 #27 Old_Zircon 2014-06-04 14:18
None of that has much to do with the people this episode is about, of course.

I'll give audiophiles this, though - the ones who design and build their own turntables from scratch are pretty cool.
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+1 #26 Added Space 2014-06-04 00:34
There is a kernel of truth to this. People are claiming these materials improve the listening /experience/, which is well within the realm of the placebo effect. Placebos require that you believe in them, and more expensive placebos do in fact work measurably better then cheap placebos. So buying expensive crap can improve a listening experience, especially if it doesn't actually do anything.
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+5 #25 KingKalamariari 2014-06-03 20:02
Machina Dynamica in a nutshell:




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0 #24 JoelHawkins 2014-06-03 19:33
The things people do for boners nowadays..
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+1 #23 Adam 2014-06-03 16:47
Shout out to Silver Dollar City
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+2 #22 dodoman1 2014-06-03 11:47
Quoting Max Headroom:
Fuck my parents man, why couldn't they name me Cryo Baby Promethean?!

Isn't that already one of Frank Zappa's kids?
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+1 #21 Old_Zircon 2014-06-03 08:08
Great episode!
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0 #20 Max Headroom 2014-06-03 07:07
Fuck my parents man, why couldn't they name me Cryo Baby Promethean?!
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0 #19 AlbieQuirky 2014-06-02 16:36
He has a website, you know.

www.coconut-audio.com/.../
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+5 #18 Le Mon 2014-06-02 11:17
Quoting ElizabethSterling:
And nobody made an aural sex joke?

Thankfully.
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+1 #17 ElizabethSterling 2014-06-02 09:08
And nobody made an aural sex joke?
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+3 #16 geegollygosh 2014-06-02 06:32
Quoting dodoman1:
Quoting AgentCoop:
Patrick 82 has "kill yr idols" on vinyl. Ironically enough, he's only ever killed an excessive amount of prostitutes. It's like rain on your wedding day.

I'm not sure Patrick82 would know what to do with a prostitute if he hired one.

Kill her, obviously. Possibly recording the screams as he does.
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+1 #15 Old_Zircon 2014-06-02 04:56
Quoting yellow jester:
Why isn't Jack Chick, music producer PHD on this episode? He's probably planning to edit himself in later...


Maybe he had to start moonlighting to pay for a $2000 power strip with a hand-braided, 18" cord.
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0 #14 yellow jester 2014-06-02 01:05
Why isn't Jack Chick, music producer PHD on this episode? He's probably planning to edit himself in later...
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+1 #13 Old_Zircon 2014-06-01 21:40
Quoting Miles Beavis:
Fun fact: the Machina Dynamics website was originally made as a joke, but the guy behind it got so many serious inquiries about buying the rocks that he ended up actually selling them.

And yeah, for anyone on the fence, this isn't about legitimate stuff like preferring lossless audio to MP3. This episode is about people who literally blame "negative energy" when someone can't hear the alleged sound quality improvement from a $2000 "ambient field conditioner" (an empty box that sits near your stereo).



Ooooh, so the kind of people who will spend $1000 for a little hand "tuned" wooden block that sts on their records to make them sound better*.


*The person I'm thinking of here is Thurston Moore - I heard about that thing in an interview with him in a book about record collectors that came out a while back. No surprise he swears by it.
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+2 #12 dodoman1 2014-06-01 20:20
Quoting AgentCoop:
Patrick 82 has "kill yr idols" on vinyl. Ironically enough, he's only ever killed an excessive amount of prostitutes. It's like rain on your wedding day.

I'm not sure Patrick82 would know what to do with a prostitute if he hired one.
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+5 #11 AgentCoop 2014-06-01 17:31
Patrick 82 has "kill yr idols" on vinyl. Ironically enough, he's only ever killed an excessive amount of prostitutes. It's like rain on your wedding day.
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+8 #10 dodoman1 2014-06-01 11:11
Quoting KingKalamariari:
The term "cargo cult" comes readily to mind...

This is exactly what I was thinking.
When I saw the new episode, I thought "Alright, but I'm not sure how funny an hour and a half of people being pretentious about $200 HDMI cables that don't work is going to be." An hour later and I was hearing the readers say "THE PROBLEM IS NOT WITH THE PRODUCT, THE PROBLEM IS WITH MY EARS, I MUST REPLACE MY EARS TO FIND THE ONE TRUE SOUND, THANK YOU MACHINA DYNAMICA FOR SHOWING ME THE WAY." I had no idea how deep this particular rabbit hole went.
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+1 #9 Duster 2014-05-31 23:47
Quoting montrith:
I wish I didn't have morals. I could totally make a killing by selling rocks to morons.

Meanwhile I'm going to go raid the planters of the sushi restaurant next door and make bank.
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