Episode 123: The Beatings Will Continue Until Dinner Improves

with Boots Raingear, Kumquatxop, Portaxx, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by kal-elk.

Edited by Lemon.

Does a strict Christian lifestyle prohibit a kinky sex life? As you might expect, there's varying beliefs on this which are nuanced and subtle, so here's the Cliff's notes version: If it gives me a boner, God wants you to do it. We're looking at the life choices made by the Christian Domestic Discipline movement - a patriarchal society who believe men should control women, and use the word "panties" as often as possible in doing so. This week, we're telling your mother EVERYTHING.

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MUSIC USED
  1. Bobby Vee - Punish Her
  2. FC Kahuna - Bleep Freak
  3. R. Kelly - Marry The Pussy
Last Updated on Sunday, 26 January 2014 19:58  

Comments   

 
+1 #32 evennicerthings 2014-01-18 18:06
This made me angrier/laugh harder than any episode I've listened to so far!

I think there's a lot to be said for mockery of truly awful people. Ridicule is actually more damning than straight up condemnation. So, I dunno, these people are ghastly & everything, but I feel like that's MORE of a reason to make fun of them.
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0 #31 Rebecca 2014-01-18 11:26
Idk, I feel like a lot of these guys have or will cross the line into DV no matter what. Their wives are supposed to be submitting them right? So the husband is not going to be checking in to make sure he's not really hurting/scaring her to the point where she's not enjoying it. (That's with the assumption that the couple is mutually interested in this kink and are both hiding behind religious justification, which is a leap all on its own.).

Like people who are into s&m generally have safe words and check ins and shit. Kink isn't some kind of free for all.... if at any point one person wants it to stop, you have to stop. But the whole point here is that the women are being 'taught a lesson', and don't get control over the situation.
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0 #30 kal-elk 2014-01-15 16:06
j, they're definitely religious. They write hilarious kindleporn though, ctrl+f the doc for "Ephraim".
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0 #29 j 2014-01-15 14:54
I wonder whether these people are a "genuine" christian sect a la Quiverfull, or are just BDSMers who think bible verses and (VERY selectively applied) puritanical morality makes it all even hotter. That whole shit about christian threesomes was fetlife through and through. I REALLY don't think BDSM types would be so eager to reconcile the joys of spanking with the ascetism and restrictions of traditional morality unless it was all apart of the kink. ("Oh no please don't send me to the detention bunk for not praying twelve times a day!")

Is this an actual religion thing or just a sex thing? I'm totes not going on their side of the internet to find out. All I know at the moment is that it gives them boners.
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+5 #28 A Meat 2014-01-15 07:32
Quoting Max Headroom:
*Knock Knock*
"Who?"
"Good morning, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of the Lathered-Yay Taints. Would you like some phamphlets on how to spank your wife? Is the missus here? We're giving out gagballs in the neighborhood, so we think she'd appreciate the gift"


Deutronomy 22:11, since we can't wear clothes from different materials we decided to go all leather.
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+5 #27 Max Headroom 2014-01-14 22:43
*Knock Knock*
"Who?"
"Good morning, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of the Lathered-Yay Taints. Would you like some phamphlets on how to spank your wife? Is the missus here? We're giving out gagballs in the neighborhood, so we think she'd appreciate the gift"
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+16 #26 Cuddlesquid 2014-01-14 21:51
Quoting forthelove:


1 And Matthew asked of Jesus, 2 O Lord, shall we then spank our wives? 3 And Jesus spake unto Matthew saying, Let each man ask his wife, 4 Spouse of my heart, art thou into spanking, or butt stuff, or bondage? 5 And if she say yea or nay let each man respect the decision of his wife. 6 For it pleaseth not the Lord our God to see any man strike his wife, unless she hath said Yea, thy strikes have brought a fire into my loins, thy fuzzy handcuffs comfort me. 7 And Jesus rose, and went out to the house of Mary Magdalene his Domme, 8 Who asked his safeword, and gave excellent aftercare unto Jesus, after she had turned him over her knee for being a bad boy.
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+2 #25 forthelove 2014-01-14 20:28
Well, enjoy your fantasy land full of rainbows, sunshine and gimp masks I guess.

Also:
"Fuck [...] Jesus Christ"
-- Hireonymus (Hire) Lemon L. Citrus Mirakel
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0 #24 dodoman1 2014-01-14 20:12
Quoting forthelove:
Quoting dodoman1:

Personally, yes, I think this make them less reprehensible than people who actually think women are subhuman and need to be beaten back into their place.

They are those people you weasely moron

There's definitely some of that in this episode (the guy whose brother-in-law was concerned about him abusing his sister definitely seems like an actual creepy abusive bastard, which is not something I'd ever defend), but most of this content just seems to be "I can't reconcile these two belief systems, so I'm going to display some of the most hilarious hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness this side of the PUA community."
I'm not saying it's not gross and bad, I'm saying it's not as gross and bad as some previous podcast topics.
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0 #23 Friedrich Glietzsche 2014-01-14 14:59
Quoting dodoman1:
Quoting AlbieQuirky:
And you think that makes them less reprehensible? Have the balls to be honest about your kink.


Personally, yes, I think this make them less reprehensible than people who actually think women are subhuman and need to be beaten back into their place.


On the one hand, technically I agree with you; getting an inappropriate boner and doing logical contortions to try to convince yourself that jesus is totally OK with that is waaaaay better than actually being an abuser. On the other hand, tho, these guys are shit-sacks either way, so it's kind of a moot point.
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+10 #22 forthelove 2014-01-14 14:51
Quoting dodoman1:

Personally, yes, I think this make them less reprehensible than people who actually think women are subhuman and need to be beaten back into their place.

They are those people you weasely moron
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+1 #21 forthelove 2014-01-14 14:23
This god best viewed with Firefox and IE 5.
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+1 #20 AlbieQuirky 2014-01-13 17:08
Quoting agoraphobicnosebleed:
Quoting dodoman1:
...most of these people are just putting up a front to try and reconcile their love of BDSM with their love of Jesus by claiming "well as the man it's my DUTY to punish my wife! Also God said that threesomes were okay, trust me".


I'm not saying there isn't an element of that, and I would love to believe that's all that is going on here for the sake of the women involved, but what they are describing is about the farthest thing there is from safe consensual spanky fun time (I refuse to type the word kink any more).


In the context of the culture of people who describe themselves as supporters of "Christian patriarchy," women's consent is irrelevant. So these people are, in context, advocating spanking without consent here. Whether it's because Jesus or because they think it's hot hot hot, it's still beyond gross.
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+2 #19 agoraphobicnosebleed 2014-01-13 16:27
Not to mention the whole brother-in-law "falsely" accusing Mr. Spankman of beating his wife thing is a bit of a giveaway.
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+9 #18 agoraphobicnosebleed 2014-01-13 16:25
This is happening in an environment where there is no notion of equality between partners and no checks and balances to make sure what they are doing remains consensual, and is a pervasive part of their everyday lives. The iconography is not fantasy dungeons or porn movie christian boarding school where all the students are strangely like 30 years old, but old-timey men straight up beating their wives ("he gave me the licking of a lifetime").

Even if these people are more knowing than I am giving them credit for, they are still doing their spanky quality time in a really awful way. Hearing the tortured pseudo-religiou s logic they use to justify their 3-ways is darkly amusing, sure, but this is genuinely terrible material.
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+3 #17 agoraphobicnosebleed 2014-01-13 16:24
Quoting dodoman1:
Anyone who thinks this is the most reprehensible thing the podcast has ever recorded is ignoring the fact that, from what I gathered at least, most of these people are just putting up a front to try and reconcile their love of BDSM with their love of Jesus by claiming "well as the man it's my DUTY to punish my wife! Also God said that threesomes were okay, trust me".

I'm not saying there isn't an element of that, and I would love to believe that's all that is going on here for the sake of the women involved, but what they are describing is about the farthest thing there is from safe consensual spanky fun time (I refuse to type the word kink any more).
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+5 #16 AlbieQuirky 2014-01-13 16:10
Quoting dodoman1:
Quoting AlbieQuirky:
And you think that makes them less reprehensible? Have the balls to be honest about your kink.


Personally, yes, I think this make them less reprehensible than people who actually think women are subhuman and need to be beaten back into their place.


I think publicly advocating the rankest misogyny so you can justify kink combines the shittiness of publicly advocating misogyny with the shittiness of being a lying coward.
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+1 #15 dodoman1 2014-01-13 14:18
Quoting AlbieQuirky:
And you think that makes them less reprehensible? Have the balls to be honest about your kink.


Personally, yes, I think this make them less reprehensible than people who actually think women are subhuman and need to be beaten back into their place.
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+5 #14 AlbieQuirky 2014-01-13 14:12
Quoting dodoman1:
Anyone who thinks this is the most reprehensible thing the podcast has ever recorded is ignoring the fact that, from what I gathered at least, most of these people are just putting up a front to try and reconcile their love of BDSM with their love of Jesus by claiming "well as the man it's my DUTY to punish my wife! Also God said that threesomes were okay, trust me".


And you think that makes them less reprehensible? Have the balls to be honest about your kink.
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-5 #13 dodoman1 2014-01-13 10:59
Anyone who thinks this is the most reprehensible thing the podcast has ever recorded is ignoring the fact that, from what I gathered at least, most of these people are just putting up a front to try and reconcile their love of BDSM with their love of Jesus by claiming "well as the man it's my DUTY to punish my wife! Also God said that threesomes were okay, trust me".
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0 #12 Elizabeth Sterling 2014-01-13 10:04
I understand why you guys chose to cover this but I couldn't get past the 25 minute mark.
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+2 #11 Rewcal 2014-01-13 09:47
That analogy? Citation speeded.
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+5 #10 ProfessionalFeminist 2014-01-13 03:23
"DV" is a common abbreviation in fields that frequently deal with domestic violence, such as law enforcement, social work, and victim advocacy. The CDD people's use of this jargon is pretty fucking telling.
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0 #9 Septawn 2014-01-13 01:46
I don't even....
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+7 #8 LowBatteryLife 2014-01-13 00:44
Quoting Le Mon:
Quoting yellow jester:
stop releasing such quality episodes, I'm going to die.

Terrific!

Great! From now on all our episodes will be shitty, and if anyone complains, we'll say we were just looking out for you.

Finally we have an escape clause!


I have it on good authority that that guy is a dick, and you should release more great episodes so he kicks the bucket as soon as possible.
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+7 #7 agoraphobicnosebleed 2014-01-12 16:19
Quoting A Meat:
Disregarding that, the people in this episode are possibly the most reprehensible filth you've ever covered in the podcast.

Agreed. I'm actually kind of shocked you guys recorded this. It seems like the kind of real-life unvarnished grossness usually reserved for Lou's most difficult episodes.

I'm not Mr. Kink-defender (god forbid), but it goes without saying that if your BDSM spanky club has "DV" on the extreme end of the spectrum (or anywhere) then you are doing it way way wrong.

What these people are talking about is straight up domestic violence, and the only thing that makes it listenable (aside from the readers obviously) is the bizarre layers of psychological justification, where abuse is justified as kink, and then kink is justified as religious not-kink.
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+10 #6 Le Mon 2014-01-12 14:52
Quoting yellow jester:
stop releasing such quality episodes, I'm going to die.

Terrific!

Great! From now on all our episodes will be shitty, and if anyone complains, we'll say we were just looking out for you.

Finally we have an escape clause!
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0 #5 yellow jester 2014-01-12 13:41
omg

stop releasing such quality episodes, I'm going to die.
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+2 #4 Asexual Spank Lover 2014-01-12 11:50
Reminds of an episode of a Moral Orel...


There's nothing worse than fetishists writing long screeds why their fetish is OK and everyone should engage in it.
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+1 #3 A Meat 2014-01-12 10:28
Jeez, you guys aren't even trying with the ass triangulation puns.

compass and I guess sextant are fine the way they are, but you could have at least done asstronomy and asstrolabe.

Disregarding that, the people in this episode are possibly the most reprehensible filth you've ever covered in the podcast.

And I really wish there was a more freep-esque side to the threesome part, where the dudes go on and on about how it would be gay to have sex with their wife and a handsome, well-hung, young man with a chiseled body. And how they'd only do it if their wives really wanted it.
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