Episode 122: The Gospel of Saint Jimmy Olsen

with Boots Raingear, Isfahan, Jack Chick, Kumquatxop, and Lemon.

Content for this episode was compiled by Erminea Heart.

Edited by Boots Raingear.

Religion is one way to find meaning in one's life, and while it may be spiritually fulfilling, it's still not as fun as sitting in your room and reading Batman comics all day. Well, fortunately these are two great tastes that can go great together. This episode is about Pop Culture Pagans - People who believe their favorite fictional characters are their gods. No, really, they actually totally mean that. This week, you can add graveyard dirt if you like.

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MUSIC USED
  1. Prince - Batdance
  2. Jimmy Buffet - Captain America
Last Updated on Sunday, 26 January 2014 20:07  

Comments   

 
+3 #37 Zsa Zsa 2014-01-24 20:02
Did you see this? Did you fucking SEE it?
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+4 #36 Rebecca 2014-01-11 16:02
Quoting Max Headroom:
I'm going to be the Fictional God hipster here and say that these people have such bland choices for deities. Why choose regular ol' Batman or Iron man when you can summon, I don't know, the Michellin man, the brave little toaster, or those guys from Goodburger.


There's some manga where Buddha and Jesus are roomates. Someone should worship that manga, bring it full circle.
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-5 #35 yellow jester 2014-01-09 17:19
my god is the announcer "Sumner" from Gauntlet

BRB Need food badly
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+4 #34 Kel 2014-01-09 17:01
Quoting Max Headroom:
I'm going to be the Fictional God hipster here and say that these people have such bland choices for deities. Why choose regular ol' Batman or Iron man when you can summon, I don't know, the Michellin man, the brave little toaster, or those guys from Goodburger.

AWWW, HERE IT GOES
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+9 #33 Max Headroom 2014-01-08 23:56
I'm going to be the Fictional God hipster here and say that these people have such bland choices for deities. Why choose regular ol' Batman or Iron man when you can summon, I don't know, the Michellin man, the brave little toaster, or those guys from Goodburger.
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0 #32 Olive Socks 2014-01-08 16:55
What the fuck is happening here.

That said, this might be my new favorite episode.
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+2 #31 AlbieQuirky 2014-01-08 02:08
Also (sorry for double-posting) , here's a look back at some of Ms. GraveyardDirt's greatest hits.
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0 #30 AlbieQuirky 2014-01-08 02:00
Quoting platedlizard:
"thoughtforms" is another thing stolen from Buddhism, although it doesn't mean anything like they think it means (shocker).


Yes, that thing with making Gotham City erupt from your stomach was a ridiculously garbled and slack-ass version of the actual Tibetan tulpa meditation practice. Still way, way closer to the original than any of the brony nonsense!
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+2 #29 forthelove 2014-01-08 00:56
SONS OF THE BATMAN is subscribed to Bottles Of Djinn, whose author is... well:
Quoting Bottles Of Djinn:
Simon Zealot is a recovering super villain now trying to help all of those insignificant common people he once sought to enslave and/or annihilate. He's the author of three books, The Shadow Society Guidebook, The Malakimae Manual and The Hermetic Grimoire of the Neo-Templar Order. He is also a special investigator, a martial arts instructor, an astrologer, a hypnotist, a fire performer, an escape artist, a world class mentalist, and, of course, one of the once conquered, but now returning, Djinn.
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+2 #28 Miles Beavis 2014-01-07 19:42
What the hell/Arkham/wha teverthefuck happened to the comments?!
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+1 #27 platedlizard 2014-01-07 17:14
Quoting Erminea:
Ha! Yeah we actually submitted her a while back, she was included in a packet on Lokiwives and other interesting pagans. Her blog was a treasure trove of bullshit, now all gone (I guess she became self-aware after all), but we saved most of the best (?) stuff in that doc. Understandably, that part of the doc was not read. I don't know if there's anyone alive who could read Breastmilk Sprinkler out loud and survive.


Lou could probably read it. If i recall correctly her blog was all about body secretions and burying her panties in people's fresh graves and casting curses on her inlaws (who hated her with good reason). Seems right up his alley.
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+2 #26 dodoman1 2014-01-07 16:00
Quoting jacksrabbit:
ah, okay! i'm sorry, it wasn't my intent to be annoying. i sort of assumed that it'd be okay because it was mentioned and he'd seemed confused about it in context. i'll try to keep my comments limited to stuff like "there's a girl on deviantart who draws pictures of herself in romantic relationships with various founding fathers" from now on.

It's understandable that the readers might not have heard it before (it's pretty much confined to the Internet right now, I believe, although it is a real term with real applications), but as I said, anyone who wants to know about it can go look it up. It doesn't relate to the joke at all.
Also if you actually know about a DeviantArt account where someone draws pictures of themselves fucking the Founding Fathers, please link that right now.
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-2 #25 jacksrabbit 2014-01-07 15:38
Quoting dodoman1:
Quoting jacksrabbit:
uh i guess i get to be the boring poster oops

I'm gonna give you a lesson on F Plus commenting.
People who don't know what "cisgendered" means from its brief mention in the episode can go look it up themselves and see for themselves that it's a real term that is related to non-funny real-world issues. Posting long screeds in the comments about it distracts from the humor of the actual subject matter. So don't do that.


ah, okay! i'm sorry, it wasn't my intent to be annoying. i sort of assumed that it'd be okay because it was mentioned and he'd seemed confused about it in context. i'll try to keep my comments limited to stuff like "there's a girl on deviantart who draws pictures of herself in romantic relationships with various founding fathers" from now on.
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-3 #24 jacksrabbit 2014-01-07 15:30
Quoting forthelove:
Quoting jacksrabbit:

cisgendered

he was just looking for how to pronounce it IRL jeez
Also you tumblry types sure use the word "bullshit" a lot!


i used the word bullshit once? uh. i wasn't saying he did anything wrong it just seemed like he didn't know what it meant so. sorry for trying to clarify meanings of unfamiliar words i guess?
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+3 #23 white pagan 2014-01-07 14:56
Quoting forthelove of batman:
- I'm a Mac pagan!
- I'm a PC pagan!

Dude all I want to do is tell this offensive joke about Wiccans but I can't because of all these PC pagans.
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+4 #22 Pumpers vs Tumblrs 2014-01-07 14:54
Quoting jacksrabbit:
tumblr

Tempted to make a bunch of shitty cracks but I won't. All I'll say is that the F+ comment section isn't tumblr and you would be taken a lot more seriously if you didn't write like a living tumblr golem.

Okay one shitty crack.
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+2 #21 dodoman1 2014-01-07 13:43
Quoting jacksrabbit:
uh i guess i get to be the boring poster oops

I'm gonna give you a lesson on F Plus commenting.
People who don't know what "cisgendered" means from its brief mention in the episode can go look it up themselves and see for themselves that it's a real term that is related to non-funny real-world issues. Posting long screeds in the comments about it distracts from the humor of the actual subject matter. So don't do that.
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0 #20 Grondothitus 2014-01-07 12:58
You know, I was wondering where this would go after the chants, and then, well... MLP. Of course.
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0 #19 forthelove 2014-01-07 09:07
Quoting jacksrabbit:

cisgendered

he was just looking for how to pronounce it IRL jeez
Also you tumblry types sure use the word "bullshit" a lot!
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+4 #18 forthelove of batman 2014-01-07 08:46
- I'm a Mac pagan!
- I'm a PC pagan!
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0 #17 forthelove of batman 2014-01-07 08:19
"just like you, there's a shit-ton of them running around in my brain and making a mess"
There's a shit-ton of me running around in your brain making a mess??

( I had no idea that the year I spent a dressed up in an uncomfortable batman suit as a kid, complete with chest-plate, I was actually worshiping the god of Gotham himself! )
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-2 #16 Swollen Flesh Tube 2014-01-07 02:07
Quoting jacksrabbit:
uh i guess i get to be the boring poster oops


Nah I bet I can out-boring you.

See the deal with the tags is that there's this thing called tumblr savior which will hide anything with a certain tag. Like if you have triggers about being trapped in hell and tortured by Malphas, or if you don't want Dr. Who spoilers, or if you just don't want to see anything involving a certain subject.

And that's why trigger warnings can go at the end of a tumblr post and still be relevant.
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-8 #15 jacksrabbit 2014-01-07 01:58
er, also, this is probably obnoxious but it always makes me uncomfortable when people make fun of trigger warnings. i mean like don't get me wrong. there's this whole stupid section on tumblr where people go TRIGGERED!!! IM TRIGGERED IM SO UPSET M GONING TO TPYpe LKE THIS IM RRIGGERD and that's bullshit but i guess it hurts to see something as serious as PTSD and panic attacks and triggers made into jokes just because some people are shitty idiots. it's sort of frustrating too because mental disorders are already so disrespected as a whole and like. i tag car crashes for my friend who has a particularly difficult story involving one and i tag posts mentioning rape for my friends who are rape survivors. i don't want them to have to see that stuff, you know? it's serious for them and i'd rather not risk it affecting anyone else either. idk i hope this makes any kind of sense. i still adore you guys just every now and then you make a joke at the expense of an illness and it's like "ouch"
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-6 #14 jacksrabbit 2014-01-07 01:49
uh i guess i get to be the boring poster oops

cisgendered (the prefix cis- being associated with terms like cissexism and cis-privilege) is what i guess would be considered the opposite of transgendered. it just means that the person identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth. the term cissexism is a bit obtuse since it's assigned backwards but basically it refers to the idea of seeing cisgendered individuals as the "default" and transgendered individuals as "other". it's noticeable in language referring to all men having a penis, all women having breasts, and gendering items relevant to what a cissexist society would considered "gendered" anatomy.

very exciting stuff im sure you were all thrilled to read that
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+1 #13 Erminea 2014-01-06 21:34
Quoting platedlizard:
Quoting zygote:
Speaking of tumblr, graveyard dirt and dubious pagan practices, there is a lady called graveyarddirt on tumblr who is totally worth checking out. Perhaps not if you have a weak stomach, though.


Was that the person who accidentally gave her postman a loaf of bread made with "used up" psychedelic mushrooms, and upon realizing her mistake went "meh, he'll have an interesting time"? She was featured on SF_Drama awhile back but I can't seem to find the post.


Ha! Yeah we actually submitted her a while back, she was included in a packet on Lokiwives and other interesting pagans. Her blog was a treasure trove of bullshit, now all gone (I guess she became self-aware after all), but we saved most of the best (?) stuff in that doc. Understandably, that part of the doc was not read. I don't know if there's anyone alive who could read Breastmilk Sprinkler out loud and survive.
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+1 #12 Bat10 2014-01-06 18:09
How can Batman even be a god? He has "Man" right in his goddamn name.
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+12 #11 the waste land 2014-01-06 18:05
The 'god of evil' Batman died fighting was most likely Darkseid, per Final Crisis #6, although he was revealed to have only been sent back in time in Final Crisis #7 and returned in the storyline that picked up in Batman and Robin #12 and continuing until someone put me out of my misery why do I know this
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+2 #10 platedlizard 2014-01-06 17:42
"thoughtforms" is another thing stolen from Buddhism, although it doesn't mean anything like they think it means (shocker).
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+1 #9 yellow jester 2014-01-06 13:44
my brain refused to reconcile the implications of this episode's title until I heard the intro.
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+5 #8 Captain Weezer 2014-01-06 13:36
Look at all those fools, not even praising the sun.
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