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Episode 119: How To Listen To A Podcast (Abridged, With Images)

with Boots Raingear, Bunnybread, Jack Chick, Nutshell Gulag, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

Content compiled by Boots and Lemon, mainly Boots.

Edited by Boots Raingear.

Boots wanted more WikiHow.

download spacer ballpit spacer itunes read1
MUSIC USED
  1. Jesus Lizard - Horse
  2. Butter08 - How Do I Relax?

ADDITIONAL FUN

4. Make tons of goffik friends.

Note: Between recording and release, "How To Get Microsoft For Free" was deleted from WikiHow. Sorry.

Last Updated on Sunday, 26 January 2014 20:36  

Comments   

 
+7 #38 KingKalamari 2014-01-10 20:02
Holy shit, I just realized something: Horses4ever was featured briefly in the first WikiHow episode. She was one of the contributors mentioned on the "How to be Punk" article.

Sadly I was unable to overcome my fear of Johnny Rotten by bathing him...
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0 #37 Californias Gold 2013-12-23 12:38
Loved the bit with Huell Howser talking about pursuing alternatives to homosexuality. It was even better knowing that Huell was actually homosexual! For real!
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+2 #36 Le Mon 2013-12-19 01:42
Quoting nicethings:
Anyhow, long time listener, first time poster, thanks for salvaging my date xoxoxoxo.

I like that story
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+5 #35 jackchick666metal 2013-12-18 23:00
Quoting nicethings:
Hey, f plus, this isn't a propos of this episode, but I just wanted to say thanks: I went to see a really lousy improv troupe on a date the other night, and the guy's friend was in the troupe so I had to pretend to laugh. They were spectacularly unfunny, but suddenly the memory of "I can't do anything with these LOBSTER HANDS!" sprang into my mind and I laughed with genuine delight, so I managed not to hurt anyone's feelings. Anyhow, long time listener, first time poster, thanks for salvaging my date xoxoxoxo.


That's odd, the F+ has had a strikingly opposite effect on my dates...
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+3 #34 yellow jester 2013-12-18 17:11
Quoting FartTheLove:
Quoting yellow jester:


[urlhttp://www.wikihow.com/Back-Fart]How To Back Fart

This method of "farting" is similar to armpit farts only ten times better, it has more "juice" to it like your farted yourself instead just let out a bubble of air

Tips:
the sweatier you are the better sounds you will achieve.

Discussion:
Nicklepicklepie said:
If you have any tips or ideas to make this better let me know I am always looking for new material >:)


step 1: be a greasy 300lb nerd
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+1 #33 FartTheLove 2013-12-18 16:13
Quoting yellow jester:


[urlhttp://www. wikihow.com/Bac k-Fart]How To Back Fart

This method of "farting" is similar to armpit farts only ten times better, it has more "juice" to it like your farted yourself instead just let out a bubble of air

Tips:
the sweatier you are the better sounds you will achieve.

Discussion:
Nicklepicklepie said:
If you have any tips or ideas to make this better let me know I am always looking for new material >:)
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+9 #32 nicethings 2013-12-18 15:58
Hey, f plus, this isn't a propos of this episode, but I just wanted to say thanks: I went to see a really lousy improv troupe on a date the other night, and the guy's friend was in the troupe so I had to pretend to laugh. They were spectacularly unfunny, but suddenly the memory of "I can't do anything with these LOBSTER HANDS!" sprang into my mind and I laughed with genuine delight, so I managed not to hurt anyone's feelings. Anyhow, long time listener, first time poster, thanks for salvaging my date xoxoxoxo.
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+1 #31 yellow jester 2013-12-18 11:18 Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+6 #30 Airrider 2013-12-18 08:00
Would you believe that the first time I heard you guys referencing "WikiHow" in a recipe episode I thought Lemon was saying that the recipes reminded him of "Wiki Hell?"

I thought it was some kind of description of Wikis gone mad, like there's at least one goddamn wiki for everything, even thing you really, really shouldn't be getting instructions for from a wiki.

...good to see my original interpretation is still kinda valid...
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+3 #29 BONER POLIZEI 2013-12-17 19:21
Quoting Max Headroom:
I loved this episode...but no yiff boners this time :(

You should be getting these from all F+ episodes regardless of content. Please see your doctor as soon as you can.
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+2 #28 Max Headroom 2013-12-16 22:28
I loved this episode...but no yiff boners this time :(
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+2 #27 Grygor 2013-12-16 01:48
Quoting ForTheLoveOfLions:

How to Draw an Anthro Lion: 8 Steps (with Pictures)
I'm not going to post the pictures, but I'll just say that it misses the crucial step of How To Draw Crotch Bulges.


Arrrrrgh, bad anatomy make me angry!

That said, jeez they have a lot of "how to draw X" articles, and they're practically identical, in both structure and helpfulness.

They might as well just replace them all with:
How to draw anything
Step 1: block out the basic shapes (you know what they are)
Step 2: add in the details (you know what they look like)
Step 3: color it!
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+1 #26 ForTheLoveOfLions 2013-12-15 22:41
Quoting Miles Beavis:
(muttering to self)
I'm guessing that step 2 is to constrict the anus and dent the navel one hundred times?


haha, no, this is step 2:
Quote:
2 Allow as much time (weeks, months or years, decades) as is needed to reach your farthest flung ideals. Join trust and faith (the opposite of fear and doubt); blend hope, love and action (opposite of despair) into one flowing process for meaning, fulfillment, profit and joy, the pleasure of reality--No!--not like mere fantasy.
see? makes total sense!

How to Draw an Anthro Lion: 8 Steps (with Pictures)
I'm not going to post the pictures, but I'll just say that it misses the crucial step of How To Draw Crotch Bulges.
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+5 #25 Miles Beavis 2013-12-15 21:56
Quoting ForTheLoveOfRaisins:
How to Expect Beyond Hope
Do you want powerful principles in thought and behavior that can transform lives: yours and others. Here's how. "Expect", if it is not just optimism -- but is expecting "not yet" possible things in some broader context, in a bigger picture not based on false and misleading premises.

Steps:
1. Place expected ideals firmly in your thoughts and circumstances.

3.
Compare, saying this: "I expect this!" -- realize that expecting is pregnant hope: full fruited life previewing its factuality, expressed in the vim and vigor of trusting deeply.

I'm guessing that step 2 is to constrict the anus and dent the navel one hundred times?
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+2 #24 ForTheLoveOfRaisins 2013-12-15 21:27
How to Expect Beyond Hope
Do you want powerful principles in thought and behavior that can transform lives: yours and others. Here's how. "Expect", if it is not just optimism -- but is expecting "not yet" possible things in some broader context, in a bigger picture not based on false and misleading premises.

Steps:
1. Place expected ideals firmly in your thoughts and circumstances.

3.
Compare, saying this: "I expect this!" -- realize that expecting is pregnant hope: full fruited life previewing its factuality, expressed in the vim and vigor of trusting deeply.

. Now say, "I hope for this!" how does that feel -- like a dry shriveled raisin without the flow of life; lacking viability, hope means you would "like" it... Hope is nice, your need it, but expect is strong, and that should feel much better -- believe, achieve, receive the expected result...
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+3 #23 Cuddlesquid 2013-12-15 20:38
Quoting obfuscobble:


I love that the first "word" of this actually looks like a pair of walking feet leaving a building.
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+3 #22 Miles Beavis 2013-12-15 19:27
Damn, at this point, Wikihow could probably have its own spinoff podcast.
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+3 #21 Lemmin 2013-12-15 19:06
Quoting ForTheLoveOfPoop:

Oh, and there's a YouTube video at the bottom. I'll not click that.
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+3 #20 ForTheLoveOfPoop 2013-12-15 18:43
4 Ways to Check Your Health by Poop or Stool Colors

Method 1 of 4: Probably normal


EditMethod 3 of 4: Worries

2. Check the reasons change color and "Poop Color Chart" online.[4]. You can see a page of facts about poop color at an online school.[5]

Tips:
The call of duty, brought the Dr. Ellie Sattler to put her hand into that brontosaurus stool to learn why the sickly beast was ailing in the Jurassic Park (the movie). She might've done it by inspecting the color!
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+3 #19 ForTheLoveOfJOY 2013-12-15 18:28
How to Make Enough Joy and Share
Tips: ( Lyrics from "Turn! Turn! Turn!" by The Byrds )

Edited by: Garshepp
Hmm, what else has Garshepp contributed to WikiHow...

4 Ways to Check Your Health by Poop or Stool Colors

"Colors of poop" do indicate health -- versus a number of illnesses, suggesting specific, possible problems to get attention! Stop being puzzled by amorphous colors of bowel movements -- now colors can suggest warnings or not! You can learn about reading the poop-colors and might avoid up-close and personal, minor issues, and know suggested times to get to your doctor -- if you know how to "scan the specific color indicators".

*FOLLOWED BY DRAWING OF POOP COURTESY OF ARTISTS OF WIKIHOW*
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+2 #18 ForTheLoveOfJOY 2013-12-15 18:18
How to Make Enough Joy and Share

Do you work with­ others to have a life filled with enough joy and good things to sustain them and contribute into your/our way of life? Then turn, having enough, toward your making enough joy to share. Realizing that "to every thing (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn), and a time to every purpose under the heavens"... (dry season or flood...); here's how.
1. Prepare for the challenges, enough -- to not let good or ill events, or moods -- drive you....
12.Understand that your joy may be another's junk -- so that by being proactive, then another's "junk" fades from importance.
Tips:
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+6 #17 ForTheLoveOfPee 2013-12-15 02:10
Hot To Perform A Courtesy Pee > Discussion
Quote:
I do this all the time when I go to music festivals in the summer. The chemical toilets there are less than pleasant. I always wear a dress and simply lift the back of my dress as I sit down on the grass. I then just pee through my panties. Nobody has a clue that I am peeing. It doesn't feel uncomfortable and my panties dry fairly quickly.
I have never noticed that I smell of pee.
Quoting Ángela GARCÍA:

Sometimes, i do it in front of people, I don't need the bathrrom anymore. Peeing is the greatest thing ever, and now when I need to go, I can feel warm liquid exit my body! It's awesome, thanks!
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+1 #16 Grygor 2013-12-14 23:43
You weren't kidding, "how to perform a courtesy pee" DOES have illustrations now.

As do "how to urinate outside discreetly" and "how to pee with a dress on". Though "how to pee in public as a lady" is as yet picture-free.

I think I'll pass on checking on the rest of the (frighteningly large number of) articles about farting, not pooping, faking excretion, using public restrooms, and dealing with unwanted erections however.
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+3 #15 MicroMissles 2013-12-14 21:48
Quoting Lemmin:
Quoting AlbieQuirky:
WikiHow! That's like a delicious mind-cleansing sorbet of pure stupid after the last two pervefests.

Enjoy it while it lasts, because I already know what's getting released next.


Every time I think the podcast plateaus as far as terrible internet coverage is concerned that thought gets subsequently destroyed. You have me curious and terrified.
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+10 #14 Lemmin 2013-12-14 19:32
Quoting AlbieQuirky:
WikiHow! That's like a delicious mind-cleansing sorbet of pure stupid after the last two pervefests.

Enjoy it while it lasts, because I already know what's getting released next.
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+1 #13 AgentCoopAndStooges 2013-12-14 19:21
Here comes Johnny Wikihow,
With the article,
Quitting Heroin,
Now I wanna rewatch trainspotting!
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+5 #12 obfuscobble 2013-12-14 15:15
Just in case anyone decided to learn Ancient Egyptian based on that WikiHow article, please read this:

("Go outside, you painfully nerdy* person." *despicable)
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+3 #11 ForTheLove 2013-12-14 13:08
" Duhuhuh uhuhu huh "
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+1 #10 ForTheLove 2013-12-14 13:01
This was apparently a featured article!
Quote:

How To Find Gifts For People Who Bug You
pad1.whstatic.com/.../...
11
For those folks bad mouthing you while their glass house reveals that one or both of them are married--to someone else, papier maché initials painted red either with a craft brooch pin on the back, or a hanger for a tree. Most won't get the "Scarlet Letter" reference, but you will!
Why is the Namek dragon genie from DBZ in this article what the hell.
I voted the article accurate.
For some reason that Microsoft HowTo webcache had How To Make a Pumpkin Pie Martini, but the related articles in that are also martinis with related articles for martini and now I'm stuck in a martini ourobouros.
Let's click the Random Article button...
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+4 #9 Miles Beavis 2013-12-14 11:16
As it happens, Google has a cache of How to Get Microsoft for Free. Now you no longer have to go without free Microsoft!
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