Episode 112: I've Got My Spine, I've Got My Woman Crushed

with Boots Raingear, John Toast, Isfahan, Victor Laszlo, and Lemon.

Edited by Lemon

Content for this episode was provided by Montrith.

There's moments of blissful comfort that can be undeniably wonderful. To find someone that you care about, and wrap their body around your own, silently sharing a few moments of euphoric, peaceful togetherness, is there anything better than that? The people in this week's episode would say: Yes, it would be better if she was flat and she just spent an hour talking about how flat she was, that would be totally hot. Because this podcast is still going strong, and as it turns out we haven't exhausted the weird fetishes yet, so this time it's about the object of your affection being flat. This week, The F Plus can't just play the theme song once.

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MUSIC USED
  1. The Horrible F Plus Jingle
  2. The Horrible F Plus Jingle
  3. FC Kahuna - Bleep Freak
  4. Neal Sedaka - Calendar Girl
  5. The Horrible F Plus Jingle
ADDITIONAL FUN
  1. Erection In The Wringer (parts 1-6) - Warning: Horrifying
  2. Horrible Jingles

Last Updated on Monday, 27 January 2014 09:21  

Comments   

 
+3 #41 dodoman1 2013-10-19 17:04
Listening to this episode again after a couple of weeks, I think I've realized why these flattening fetishists are so frightening to many of the listeners.

These guys are the exact midpoint between regular misogynists and waifu enthusiasts, and the way in which they blend the two ideologies makes them extra-terrifyin g. They have the same hatred of women and disregard for female autonomy as waifu enthusiasts, but seem to be at least grounded in reality enough that they understand that marrying an anime character is ridiculous. So while waifu enthusiasts take preexisting non-autonomous women and fall in love with their idealized visions of them, flat fetishists get off on the idea of removing the autonomy of women by turning them into literal inanimate objects.

Now that I've realized this, I'm kind of horrified by it too, because this is the kind of thought process that produces actual real-life rapists.
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+1 #40 Airrider 2013-10-09 18:44
Quoting Miles Beavis:
Quoting ForTheLove:
I don't think I like this episode.
Some of the jokes felt flat,
While others were so bad I had to steamroll through them.
And your portrayal of this rather harmless, plane community was quite two-dimensional.

These accusations are pretty flimsy without examples, your case is paper-thin.

Okay, so this episode is a bit compressed, but I bet you could be squished flat under all the material they had to file through...
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+7 #39 Cuddlesquid 2013-10-08 23:15
Quoting forthelove:
The flip side has a pterodactyl shedding a single tear.

I think you mean a petrodactyl.
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+2 #38 a sad and broken man 2013-10-08 21:18
Quoting a sad and broken man:
HOM = Hand Over Mouth. Thanks, PoE-Red!

The Karate defense for a homsmother attack is breathing through your nose.
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+1 #37 a sad and broken man 2013-10-08 21:16
HOM = Hand Over Mouth. Thanks, PoE-Red!
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0 #36 forthelove 2013-10-08 20:24
The flip side has a pterodactyl shedding a single tear.
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+9 #35 Cuddlesquid 2013-10-08 20:08
Quoting Albie Quirky:
You are like an Olympic champion of finding freaky shit on the Internet.

Her gold medal looks like a flattened dick with ants crawling on it.
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+3 #34 Miles Beavis 2013-10-08 19:52
Quoting Albie Quirky:
Montrith, you are starting to scare me a bit. And I mean this in the nicest possible way.

You are like an Olympic champion of finding freaky shit on the
Internet. Is there any way you can parlay this unusual talent into a lucrative career?

NSA.
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0 #33 Albie Quirky 2013-10-08 17:53
Montrith, you are starting to scare me a bit. And I mean this in the nicest possible way.

You are like an Olympic champion of finding freaky shit on the
Internet. Is there any way you can parlay this unusual talent into a lucrative career?
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+4 #32 slut doll 2013-10-08 17:33
Quoting forthelove:
let's get to the bottom of these boners

Law and Order: Special Boners Unit
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+5 #31 forthelove 2013-10-08 16:02
let's get to the bottom of these boners
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+3 #30 dodoman1 2013-10-08 13:52
Quoting slut doll:
It's like these people got their first boner smashing their sister's Barbies and their sexual (and emotional?) development just stopped dead right there.


This is probably the case for some of the crazier people, but some of these guys (the Flattened Cartoon Furries people, for instance) seem much more harmless. I'd bet you anything that they got their first boner watching Wile E. Coyote get squashed by an anvil and now they can only get off on cartoon characters being turned into pancakes and accordions.
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+4 #29 slut doll 2013-10-08 12:02
I think you guys hit the nail on the flattened cock head. You wouldn't think something like that would be disturbing compared to all the outwardly horrifying shit you get exposed to on the internet, but there's something unsettling about seeing people whose sexuality is seemingly grounded in a destructive, antisocial childlike id. It's like these people got their first boner smashing their sister's Barbies and their sexual (and emotional?) development just stopped dead right there.
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+6 #28 Miles Beavis 2013-10-07 20:12
Quoting Elizabeth_Sterling:
There seems to be a section that don't just want stupid cartoony bullshit, rather, get off to the thought of gruesome lethal injury or otherwise use of children/animals in their perverted little dreams.

I actually went to that Toy Crush site to laugh at people sitting on Barbie dolls, and it ended up being this weird, disturbing parade of stilettos stomping on toy trucks and cars running over teddy bears. The worst was a pair of women who slashed up a baby doll with ice skates - the description especially relished its "severed face", and it didn't help that the doll looked like a goddamn baby. Crazy, arbitrary fetishes usually get a laugh out of me, but the intense, sexually-charge d loathing for these toys (proxies for actual people?) was just terrifying after a few pages.
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+5 #27 September 2013-10-07 17:44
Why do all of these posts sound like they were Google-translat ed out of Estonian? Is there a large base of flattening fetishists in countries where English is not commonly spoken, or do all these people have some kind of mental impairment?

Actually, you know what, I think we already know the answer to that.
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+2 #26 Navigator 2013-10-07 07:22
I gotta say, compared to these guys, I'm actually less creeped out by the voreaphiles, and some of the inflation fetishists seem downright romantic.
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+4 #25 Mistress-Eva 2013-10-07 06:34
Your new "theme song" sounds like discordant traditional Chinese music interpreted in a terrible avant-garde industiral fashion.
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+2 #24 Airrider 2013-10-06 17:12
I haven't had this much fun since the clingfilm episode!
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+9 #23 Miles Beavis 2013-10-06 15:42
Quoting ForTheLove:
I don't think I like this episode.
Some of the jokes felt flat,
While others were so bad I had to steamroll through them.
And your portrayal of this rather harmless, plane community was quite two-dimensional.

These accusations are pretty flimsy without examples, your case is paper-thin.
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+9 #22 ForTheLove 2013-10-06 15:17
I don't think I like this episode.
Some of the jokes felt flat,
While others were so bad I had to steamroll through them.
And your portrayal of this rather harmless, plane community was quite two-dimensional .
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+4 #21 Elizabeth_Sterling 2013-10-06 11:14
I'd view this episode the same way I view the sinky one, as a weird, harmless paraphilia if it weren't for the fact there's an underlying menace to it, that some of these people seem to be creepy headlines in the making. There seems to be a section that don't just want stupid cartoony bullshit, rather, get off to the thought of gruesome lethal injury or otherwise use of children/animal s in their perverted little dreams.
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+2 #20 Miles Beavis 2013-10-05 19:51
Quoting Olive Socks:
Also when I went to the website for the jingle I found something MAGICAL~

www.horriblejingles.com/.../

Incredible.

Now I have to go back through every episode and dub this in every time someone thanks Stog.
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+2 #19 Olive Socks 2013-10-05 17:29
I love the jingle so very very much, It's like the screaming of a thousand dying children's dreams and that makes it perfect for us.

Also when I went to the website for the jingle I found something MAGICAL~

www.horriblejingles.com/.../
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0 #18 A Meat 2013-10-05 05:14
Upon relistening to the episode, I realized that the poster story reminds me of the plot to the movie The Futurist's Congress, since in both people sign off the rights to their own existence as a human being.
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+2 #17 sku 2013-10-05 03:42
i'm glad that in this fucked up world there are still people in their own little bubble who just want to smash whores. puts a little faith in me.
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+3 #16 Butt 2013-10-05 01:22
May I suggest another theme song?

youtu.be/lXDF_0bVpP4
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+1 #15 Asexual Flat Lover 2013-10-05 01:01
The group of flattened cartoon furries reminded me of the guy in The Sandman who wanted to die between two virgins at the moment of orgasm, via elephant crushing.

By the way, good job as always Montrith.
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+2 #14 kez 2013-10-04 15:25
The "topical" reference was the binders full of flattened men. Mitt Romney said he had "binders full of women" in one of the presidential debates.
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+14 #13 ForTheLoveOfMamas 2013-10-04 11:18
NO NO NO!
Don't sit on the baby!
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0 #12 UltimateOverlord 2013-10-04 06:36
I would probably have been more disturbed by this episode were I notbaffled entirely. Honestly, this might be the single most confusing fetish displayed thusfar, even more so because of how widespread it evidently is.
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