Episode 101: I Hope My Kids Never Evolve

READERS: STOG, Kumquatxop, Bunnybread, Adam Bozarth, and Lemon.

Edited by STOG

Content for this episode was provided by Montrith.

NOTE: For those of you waiting for the 100th Episode Spectacular, please be aware that this is episode #101.

Many people would agree that monkeys, by and large, are pretty cute. This is why they make popular zoo attractions, popular designs on t-shirts, and popular themes in nursery gear. Because we like looking at monkeys, they're a lot like us. But not so much like us that we'd consider adopting one and raising it like it was our own child. Well... most of us wouldn't do that.

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MUSIC USED
  1. James Kolchaka Superstar - Monkey Vs Robot
  2. Peter Gabriel - Shock The Monkey
ADDITIONAL FUN

Last Updated on Friday, 19 April 2013 19:15  

Comments   

 
0 #39 aBigGulpOfHighLife 2014-07-07 19:45
Now that I've listened to every single F Plus episode released to date, I can say with confidence that this one is the best. I don't think there's another online community that is so perfectly balanced between between hilariously crazy/infuriati ng, and loveably weird/disgustin g; if there was a version of that shitty 4-way political compass test for F Plus subjects, this one would be smack in the middle. Bonus points for being about a community that has always been crazy, and not a product of the internet per se, but that has been given a great new outlet for public expression and easier more opportunities for echo chamber reinforcement.
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+1 #38 Navigator 2014-02-05 15:09

Caught sight of this in the back of a UFO catcher, and the first thought that came to mind was "this would've saved Lia so much trouble".
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+10 #37 Miles Beavis 2013-05-11 19:32
Quoting Bionichute:
im dying from lack of new f plus episode

Thanks for taking the plunge for the rest of us.
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+14 #36 Bionichute 2013-05-11 16:45
im dying from lack of new f plus episode
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+2 #35 ForTheLoveOfMonkey! 2013-05-01 18:21


Ook you montrith
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+11 #34 Naomi 2013-04-28 15:13
Quoting A Meat:
I wonder if they have ads that change according to the site they're on


Thanks to Google Analytics, every site they visit shows them ads for doll clothes, antidepressants , and power tools.
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+4 #33 A Meat 2013-04-27 00:25
Quoting September:
These are the people who click on those ads that say "Congratulations! You're our one-millionth visitor!"


I wonder if they have ads that change according to the site they're on, because I don't think they could possibly resist a "Congratulation s!! You Have Won In Our MONKEY MOTHERHOOD Sweepstakes! Click Here To Redeem Your Prize!!"
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+18 #32 September 2013-04-26 15:25
These are the people who click on those ads that say "Congratulation s! You're our one-millionth visitor!"
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+3 #31 sku 2013-04-25 04:49
Quoting Miles Beavis:

I can't tell if those are side-splitting or heart-breaking.


i'm going with mind-boggling
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+3 #30 Miles Beavis 2013-04-24 21:22
Quoting monkeymotherhood:
From the document:

I can't tell if those are side-splitting or heart-breaking.

(This also applies to literally all F Plus-related content.)
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+9 #29 monkeymotherhood 2013-04-24 18:41
From the document:

"The emotions of motherhood are universal. But the emotions of monkeymotherhoo d transcend every maternal emotion there could ever be."

Regarding Cameroon monkey scam emails:
"p.s they need to stop saying God bless you in their e-mails because they will all go to hell for this"

"We definitely take precautions, but on the same note, we do realize that at some point my daughter WILL get bit."

"We can only describe this loss, like the loss of a child. Although we have never gone through that. Although
I can tell you it is far worse than losing a dog or cat."
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+1 #28 geegollygosh 2013-04-24 06:01
Quoting montrith:


Sadly, I must confess that I know more about crazy women with monkeys than I do about Justin Bieber. Did he have a monkey at some point?


It got confiscated at an airport because he didn't have the proper papers for it. Made the news about a week before the F+ episode, so I was all 'AH-HA!' But no, I guess I will have to go back to being mystified at how on earth you manage to find these people.
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+32 #27 Backalley Juice 2013-04-22 17:52
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0 #26 scratchohey 2013-04-19 15:44
Quoting sku:


she was such a difficult baby but she's so peaceful now

Ohhhh dear god.
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+23 #25 sku 2013-04-18 23:27


she was such a difficult baby but she's so peaceful now
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+3 #24 Juice Unlimited 2013-04-18 15:03
I'd get an address at ennuimail dot com
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+1 #23 Chuzorpizan 2013-04-18 09:02
Do not miss the source document on this one. At the very least, read the Daily Mail article linked at the end. Did you know that the Vietnam war was actually about securing for American citizens the right to keep four Capuchin monkeys in an RV? I sure didn't!
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+3 #22 Navigator 2013-04-17 19:42
Holy fucking shit, the first section nearly had me considering trying a half-assed monkey-selling scam on these people, just because it sounds so damn easy.

Also, this may or may not be the first F Plus episode where I immediately hit replay after finishing it.
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0 #21 Dementrious 2013-04-17 11:52
Quoting Lé mon:

What's mock about it?

Only because it wasn't an actual line in the bit, but in the spirit of.
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+1 #20 Lé mon 2013-04-17 11:50
Quoting Dementrious:

I feel like this is a "Look Around You" mock-reference

What's mock about it?
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0 #19 Dementrious 2013-04-17 11:32
Quoting Linnet:
Thanks, Montrith.

Thontrith.

I feel like this is a "Look Around You" mock-reference
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+10 #18 Calaveron 2013-04-16 23:56
Quoting montrith:
This woman is actually a bit of a martyr for the monkey people

I can't believe this is a sentence you typed and I read.

So does you infiltrating a group of humans that love monkeys by posing as one of their own make you some sort of bizarro Jane Goodall?
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+10 #17 Linnet 2013-04-16 20:17
Thanks, Montrith.

Thontrith.
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+2 #16 montrith 2013-04-16 14:57
Quoting geegollygosh:
Montrith: Was it the Justin Bieber confiscated monkey story that got you on to monkey moms by chance?


Sadly, I must confess that I know more about crazy women with monkeys than I do about Justin Bieber. Did he have a monkey at some point?
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+6 #15 Everett True 2013-04-16 12:05
Silly humor illuminates the dark and horrific. Human extremity is laid bare with the aid of gloriously horrible italian accents. We laugh, but we are in hell. A truly memorable effort from an artist who shows no signs of slowing down.

Rating: 3.217 out of 10
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+2 #14 montrith fan club 2013-04-16 10:57
Stay golden, Montrith. Stay golden.
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0 #13 geegollygosh 2013-04-15 16:45
Montrith: Was it the Justin Bieber confiscated monkey story that got you on to monkey moms by chance?
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+9 #12 Calaveron 2013-04-15 11:06
At this point I'm sure montrith is some sort of artificial intelligence internet construct that recollects the weirdest goddamn things off of the net and will soon turn them against us.
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+4 #11 montrith 2013-04-15 10:33
As much as I'd like to take credit for being some sort of awesome Fplus infiltrator, I must say that the monkeypoop group is practically dead at this point and I doubt there's anyone actually monitoring the new members anymore. On the other hand, if any of you feel like playing ninja there are several other monkey groups on Yahoo. Just make sure you don't mention animal rights in your application, they'll go bananas.

Quoting Bionichute:
All this reminds me of is the story where a chimp tore off a woman's face while she and the monkey's owner hung out. That's how this will end for these people, with their faces torn off.


This woman is actually a bit of a martyr for the monkey people, since "OMG teh evil authurities are taking away her monkey child!!"
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+8 #10 Lé mon 2013-04-15 09:46
Quoting HZeT:
Having not listened to the episode yet, I hope there's a good reason why this article has a slightly different title than the episode. Because it is annoying me.

Of course there is! The good reason is that I don't pay attention to things!
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