Episode 81: Fear And Loathing of Las Chicas

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READERS: Isfahan, Portaxx, Bunnybread, Boots Raingear, and Lemon

Edited by Isfahan

As each generation ages, it looks back on the mistakes of generations before and tries to make changes. As a result, the status and politics of gender are in constant upheaval, as men and women are constantly redefining what it means to be a member of their sex. Learned sociologists have explored what it is to be a man, and our subject for this episode is not one of them. Instead, we're reading the musings of Michael Byc. He considers himself an alpha male as well as a writer, though we're left to guess which of these two things he thinks he's better at. This week, we're all wearing sandals.

This episode was suggested by Montrith.

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CONTENT READ, IN ORDER
  1. Colonel Perspicacity a novel(?) by Michael Byc
  2. Who is Michael Byc?
  3. Why is Michael Byc?
  4. Oh shit! Between recording this episode and putting it online, Michael Byc's WordPress site has been marked private. As such, we don't have links to any of the items on his blog

MUSIC USED

  • Notorious B.I.G. - One More Chance
  • David Allan Coe - Don't Bite the Dick

ADDITIONAL FUN

Last Updated on Monday, 03 December 2012 18:33  

Comments   

 
+2 #71 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:26
i've sprayed my wohle body with antler sprayyy
i ve become sometnihg horrble
as i touche my face antlers with my finger antlers
i know what must be done

youve rined ym lief
i amm coming for yu , yuo fukers
you re dead, everty single one ogf yuio at Dear Anlter Spray Incorporated

dead
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+2 #70 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:20
Wife has left with the baby.
Boss called to say that I'm fired.
Dog somehow bit through a can
He's in agony over the antlers growing inside him
I have to ease his suffering
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+2 #69 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:17
Can't put on trousers to go to work due to penis antlers.
What have you done
To me
To us
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+2 #68 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:16
Accidentally left Antler spray near deodorant can. Wife now growing armpit antlers.
How will she ever hug her child again, Dear Antler Spray Inc
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+2 #67 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:14
Knocked a can over by mistake. Some antler spray got on my daughter while I was changing her nappy. She now has butt antlers.
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+2 #66 forthelove 2014-03-04 17:10
Quoting Julian:
(SOME BULLSHIT DEER ANTLER SPRAY)

I now have tiny antlers growing out of my dick.
10/10 would buy again
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0 #65 A GODDDAMN FUCKING SPAMMER WHO HAD HIS IP BLOCKED 2014-03-04 15:24
It's an amazing article designed for all the web viewers; they will get advantage from it I am sure.


Also visit my homepage ... (SOME BULLSHIT ABOUT DEER ANTLER SPRAY)
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+4 #64 KingKalamari 2012-09-28 17:43
Quoting montrith:
Quoting Naomi:
Quoting MORETAXX PORTAXX:
The only difference will be that unlike Komodo dragons, the PUAs will get no breeding programs. As it should be.

Eh, I'd let the PUAs breed with the Komodo dragons. Let them try, anyway.


"Hey baby! I really like the way your snout wriggles when OH GOD IT'S BITING ME GET IT OFF NO NOT THERE OH THE PAIN"


"This Komodo is dropping some serious negs on me!"
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+1 #63 Old_Zircon 2012-09-28 12:16
Quoting montrith:
Quoting Naomi:
Quoting MORETAXX PORTAXX:
The only difference will be that unlike Komodo dragons, the PUAs will get no breeding programs. As it should be.

Eh, I'd let the PUAs breed with the Komodo dragons. Let them try, anyway.


"Hey baby! I really like the way your snout wriggles when OH GOD IT'S BITING ME GET IT OFF NO NOT THERE OH THE PAIN"


I thought those things defended themselves the way vultures do, by eating carrion all the time and then vomiting it onto their foes to give them diseases. Which is even better.
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+1 #62 montrith 2012-09-28 11:57
Quoting Naomi:
Quoting MORETAXX PORTAXX:
The only difference will be that unlike Komodo dragons, the PUAs will get no breeding programs. As it should be.

Eh, I'd let the PUAs breed with the Komodo dragons. Let them try, anyway.


"Hey baby! I really like the way your snout wriggles when OH GOD IT'S BITING ME GET IT OFF NO NOT THERE OH THE PAIN"
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+2 #61 Naomi 2012-09-28 11:28
Quoting MORETAXX PORTAXX:
The only difference will be that unlike Komodo dragons, the PUAs will get no breeding programs. As it should be.

Eh, I'd let the PUAs breed with the Komodo dragons. Let them try, anyway.
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+6 #60 MORETAXX PORTAXX 2012-09-28 03:34
Quoting A Meat:
Quoting KingKalamari:
So when he suggets one emulate Komodo Dragons to pick up women I'm assuming he means they should stop brushing their teeth until their saliva is a deadly toxic slurry of bacteria.


So men should all go live in three small islands in Indonesia, except for the lucky few who get to live in zoos.


Of course PUAS are the only real men. So we can conclude that all PUAS should be shipped off into Komodo dragon territory, but some can be put into zoos. The only difference will be that unlike Komodo dragons, the PUAs will get no breeding programs. As it should be.
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+1 #59 A Meat 2012-09-28 03:10
Quoting KingKalamari:
So when he suggets one emulate Komodo Dragons to pick up women I'm assuming he means they should stop brushing their teeth until their saliva is a deadly toxic slurry of bacteria.


So men should all go live in three small islands in Indonesia, except for the lucky few who get to live in zoos.
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+2 #58 Reginald Charming 2012-09-27 22:49
Quoting KingKalamari:
So when he suggets one emulate Komodo Dragons to pick up women I'm assuming he means they should stop brushing their teeth until their saliva is a deadly toxic slurry of bacteria.


Also they should stick a fucking traffic cone up their ass and drag themselves all over sandpaper until they get their skin juuuust riiiight.
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+6 #57 KingKalamari 2012-09-27 20:27
So when he suggets one emulate Komodo Dragons to pick up women I'm assuming he means they should stop brushing their teeth until their saliva is a deadly toxic slurry of bacteria.
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0 #56 Old_Zircon 2012-09-27 13:07
He's got a new Wordpress:

michaelbyc.wordpress.com/.../. ..
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0 #55 Old_Zircon 2012-09-27 13:07
He's got a new Wordpress blog:

michaelbyc.wordpress.com/.../. ..
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+2 #54 Old_Zircon 2012-09-27 12:53
Quoting Reginald Charming:
Quoting Old_Zircon:
Quoting four stone apology:
[quote name="j"]
My understanding is that there's a progression from Nice Guys to MRAs to PUAs, kind of like the progression from a Charmander to a Charizard.


Don't forget the last phase: TFL.


Look at you, with your Fire-based Pick Up Artist. You're fucked, buddy, I have a ground-based True Forced Loneliness!


Whatever, I'm casting neg on your wall of bitch shield, so it goes to the graveyard and now I can attack with my Wood Elemental.
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+2 #53 Reginald Charming 2012-09-27 01:36
Quoting Old_Zircon:
Quoting four stone apology:
[quote name="j"]
My understanding is that there's a progression from Nice Guys to MRAs to PUAs, kind of like the progression from a Charmander to a Charizard.


Don't forget the last phase: TFL.


Look at you, with your Fire-based Pick Up Artist. You're fucked, buddy, I have a ground-based True Forced Loneliness!
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
0 #52 Old_Zircon 2012-09-27 00:48
Quoting four stone apology:
[quote name="j"]
My understanding is that there's a progression from Nice Guys to MRAs to PUAs, kind of like the progression from a Charmander to a Charizard.


Don't forget the last phase: TFL.
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
0 #51 Old_Zircon 2012-09-27 00:46
So a friend of mine just posted this on her Facebook wall:

I got this message out of nowhere on OKCupid:

"who thinks what? i'd ask a flagrant but it's too foul to flaw. so it's up to the gander. it's a pleasure to inquire. it's meander to inspire. it's just halfway down the grassy knoll, where the quandary perspires. so have a glance at a glass half full, which trickles & spills. it's there, on the table. within those forgotten fables. do see, & tell the rest some more of your boring lore. yes it is simple to be, but it is even more to see the edge of our divided treachery. just ask the sun, in its glorious spin. no, know it us that begins. along this habitual flow, from & through the here & near towards some end. watch it flutter & stumble us putter with a laughing stubborn bend of opinion as we hope it clears... "

What does it mean?
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+4 #50 BootsRaingear 2012-09-21 22:46
Quoting Jessica:
Still waiting for Lemon and Isfahan to stick their dicks me me. :(

I like that you started warming up your voice at the end of that.
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+2 #49 Jessica 2012-09-21 19:48
Still waiting for Lemon and Isfahan to stick their dicks me me. :(
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+6 #48 MY NAME IS MR. TITS 2012-09-20 23:06
So, I re-listened to this episode for about the fourth time armed with the knowledge bestowed unto me by these comments. From a good amount of reading between the lines, what I gather about Mike Byc is he's a bitter 23-year-old who's about to finish his senior thesis and then go back to live with his parents, and who's going to trade his smart phone for a dinky flip-phone for reasons that HAVE to be deeper than the hipster cred.

He's also obsessed with shoes, takes yoga, calisthenics, muay thai training, and dance, is excessively concerned with his appearance and posture, and has created an entire website devoted to somehow transforming douchey self-important rambling into money. And he's incredibly upset that nobody believes he has any potential.

...yup, this is by far my favorite episode so far.
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+5 #47 Zamza 2012-09-19 14:14
Except unlike in pokemon, a PUA levels up and evolves when he loses 'battles'.
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+6 #46 four stone apology 2012-09-18 20:35
Quoting j:
It's official, Roosh V has become a Men's Rights Activist.

There really is a lot of overlap between PUAs and MRAs.


My understanding is that there's a progression from Nice Guys to MRAs to PUAs, kind of like the progression from a Charmander to a Charizard.
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+8 #45 dodoman1 2012-09-15 22:10
Quoting Navigator:
(See, I knew it. There is no way to make the "one-word-sentence-ending" not sound douche-y.)


I dunno, I think I'm going to start ending all my paragraphs that way from now on. Sarcasm.
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+4 #44 Navigator 2012-09-14 23:16
Because nobody cares, I went and looked up the publication date of Colonel Pretentiousness , and it was published in 2006, making Mike Bike approximately 23. This almost-fact paired with his "your early 20s are the doldrums of your life" post fills me with a sinister sort of cheerfulness. Schadenfreude.

(See, I knew it. There is no way to make the "one-word-sente nce-ending" not sound douche-y.)
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+4 #43 Reginald Charming 2012-09-13 17:40
Quoting Nelbert Zwieback:
My favorite part of his novel is the quote at the beginning of "1965" which is about him writing a quote and that he attributes to himself.


My favorite story so far is "Story from 3 Classes" where Michael Byc pretends to rap/talk like a 'gangsta' would while maintaining that oh-so-wonderful child's imitation of Hunter S. Thompson! On top of that the flow is fucking awful.

Favorite line: "I saw ladies, I saw ho's, but I didn't see any mistletoes."
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+4 #42 Nelbert Zwieback 2012-09-13 12:28
I shop at Key Food and they never sell out of barbecue sauce.

My favorite part of his novel is the quote at the beginning of "1965" which is about him writing a quote and that he attributes to himself. This fucking idiot is the bane of every high school creative writing teacher or poor dope who got stuck supervising the lit mag.

Oh, his site is down. I guess the consulting business is on a downswing.
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