Episode 70: The Ace and Cakes




READERS: Kumquatxop, Isfahan, STOG, Portaxx, Boots Raingear, and Lemon.

Edited by Portaxx

Hoosier biologist and unbelievable superpervert Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexual proclivities could all be charted on a seven point scale, from fully hetero to fully homo. Further, he attested that the majority of the species drifted towards the middle - in a grey area between gay and straight. But there's an oft-forgotten classification in this scale of sexuality, and that is for people who are completely dismissive of the whole affair altogether. I'm talking about the asexuals: people so unconcerned with sexual pursuits that they are free to spend their time more wisely, like telling the internet how unconcerned they are with sexual pursuits. This week, The F Plus doesn't even know what you're talking about. No really!

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NOTE: Lemon apologizes in advance for his microphone during this episode. It was fucked up and I didn't realize it until we were done recording.

CONTENT READ, IN ORDER
  1. The Definition of Asexual
  2. The Definition of Demisexual
  3. The Definition of Gray A
  4. Incredibly Ace Moments
  5. I will never stop complaining.
  6. You Know You're Asexual When...
  7. The Relationship Misunderstanding
  8. Selections from the #asexual tag on Tumblr

ADDITIONAL FUN

And finally, Portaxx really wants to find some Non-Consensual Furniture Rearrangement Erotica. So, if anyone comes across any (or feels like writing some) I know it would fulfill a desire she's had for years.

MUSIC USED

  • Lenny Welch - Since I Fell For You
  • Paul Mauriat - Love is Blue


Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 April 2012 22:35  

Comments   

 
+2 #111 Gimnbo 2014-03-19 09:50
People who legitimately get offended by this episode should take stock of how much of an asshole they come off as to their social circles.

I was actually thinking about how "demisexual" might actually work from a biological viewpoint and I imagine that an emotional attachment may be the key required for the motor to turn on. The average person can get horny for a stranger, they just don't show it most of the time because they're at least marginally well-adjusted to society. It seems plausible to me that actual demisexuals legitimately don't feel any physical attraction until something clicks in their psyche.

That said I'm sure 80% of "demisexuals" (100% if the sample is tumblr) are sexually ordinary people who are looking for an excuse for the fact they can't get laid.

DTF is also not an orientation. Sexual identity isn't some 4-dimensional sex tesseract.
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0 #110 AgentCoop 2013-09-13 18:25
If you guy's are still looking for some non-con cushion swappin' fics, I would definitely write one.
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+2 #109 Mistress Eva 2013-07-23 17:07
I love this episode so, so, SO much. These people are trying so hard to have an outside-the-mai n-stream group to belong to and it is so important to their identities. My favorite it the demisexuals. Not long ago I explained what a demisexual is to my uncle. His response was, "So basically a demisexual woman is exactly like 25% of women in general." He wouldn't be convinced that having sexual attraction only to those you are emotionally attracted to is a legit sexual orientation. It's hard to believe that there are still such bigoted people in the world. lol.
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0 #108 Cherry 2013-04-29 18:14
Quoting Cherry:
Aw, the link to the tumblr pages you quoted is broken. I was hoping to see if you actually quoted a dumb joke blog I made forever ago.

This isn't to say that it wasn't totally worthy of being mocked because all the content was reader submitted. I just did literally no quality control because I didn't want to write my own jokes.
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+7 #107 PORTAXX TIME! 2013-04-23 16:58
Quoting Cy:
I've not listened to this podcast, but I've seen some comments on a quote to do with the holocaust. If that's from a tumblr post and it's the one I'm thinking of, it was actually from a troll pretending to be asexual to upset people. There's a steady stream of trolls in the #asexual tags on tumblr, pretending to be asexual to poke fun and upset people. (They tend to come from hms_anon on dreamwidth, where they discuss their trolling openly - this isn't idle speculation, here.) We all fall foul of Poe's Law sometime!


I can tell you right now that the quote lead to an actual Tumblr account. Some time later, the post was removed and the OP made a new post in which they backpedaled like there was no tomorrow. In it they essentially said "oops sorry don't be mad! One of my HEADMATES posted that!" If it was a troll, they'd have left that post up for further hilarity.
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+3 #106 AgentCoop 2013-04-22 14:58
The "asexual tag on tumblr" link leads to something about malatora. Just a heads up. Great Podcast by the way.
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+9 #105 Lé mon 2013-04-22 08:24
Quoting Cy:
I've not listened to this podcast, but...

So your point here is "I'm not sure what's going on here, but here is my opinion on it"?

Okay, thanks.
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+2 #104 Grigori 2013-04-21 17:00
The funny thing is, whenever Tumblr asexuals post "proof" that someone is a troll, it doesn't actually prove anything. Apparently they're totally unaware that it's fairly common in mockery threads to quote the content you're mocking without quote tags.
For a group of people so worried about being "trolled" by outsiders, they have so little understanding of how said "trolls" actually behave.
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-7 #103 Cy 2013-04-21 05:08
I've not listened to this podcast, but I've seen some comments on a quote to do with the holocaust. If that's from a tumblr post and it's the one I'm thinking of, it was actually from a troll pretending to be asexual to upset people. There's a steady stream of trolls in the #asexual tags on tumblr, pretending to be asexual to poke fun and upset people. (They tend to come from hms_anon on dreamwidth, where they discuss their trolling openly - this isn't idle speculation, here.) We all fall foul of Poe's Law sometime!
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+2 #102 Cherry 2013-04-01 13:26
Aw, the link to the tumblr pages you quoted is broken. I was hoping to see if you actually quoted a dumb joke blog I made forever ago.
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+3 #101 Tanny 2012-12-06 18:25
Quoting Commisama:
I think I'll just leave this here.

movies.netflix.com/.../...
Appropriately the cover image is a dumpy twat in sweats and a t shirt holding a portal cake
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+3 #100 Reginald Charming 2012-12-06 16:46
Quoting Commisama:
I think I'll just leave this here.

movies.netflix.com/.../...


Quote:
I don't often comment on movies, but I have to say, while there is some good coverage of the asexual community and problems we face to be understood by society without being maligned, it remains a mystery to me why the director/producer/writer chose to feature Dan Savage. This cost the movie 2 stars in my book (went from a 4 to a 2). Dan Savage is a malignent, self-absorbed, narcissistic troll who knows nothing but what he can rattle between the walls of his thick skull. Using Dan Savage as an "authority" is like writing a college thesis and quoting the National Enquirer as a reputable source of information.
Awww, don't be mad! Have some cake!
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+2 #99 Commisama 2012-12-06 15:57
I think I'll just leave this here.

movies.netflix.com/.../...
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+3 #98 Boner Tanny Jones 2012-12-02 20:54
Quoting WhyPortaxxWhy:

Why is every metaphor for these people a food metaphor?
Oh like you have to ask. youtu.be/t2mU6USTBRE?t=1m5s
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+3 #97 WhyPortaxxWhy 2012-12-02 20:44
Quote:
Basically re: asexuality/greysexuality/demisexuality, asexuality is if sexual attraction/sex with another person were a donut, you’re not scared of the donut, you don’t hate donuts, you’ve just got no urge to eat the donut. greysexuality is sometimes you can/want to have the donut and sometimes you don’t demisexuality means you only can have the sexual attraction donut/want the sex with a person donut if it’s your literal favorite donut in the world. Basically the only difference between asexuality and demisexuality is singular, rarely found, people. Harry, for me, is the sex donut. I’m a demisexual, so that’s how I refer to him. :)
Why is every metaphor for these people a food metaphor?
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+1 #96 DemiPortaxx 2012-12-02 19:35 Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+1 #95 dodoman1 2012-12-02 19:19
Quoting Cuddlesquid:
So apparently now "demiromantic" is an orientation as well! Demiromantics don't fall in love with anyone unless they already have a strong emotional connection to them!

And they're already complaining about how special they are and how no one understands them!

Nuke Tumblr from orbit!


So these are the people who are so frightened of socializing, even beyond the normal person on Tumblr, that they'll only even consider entering a relationship with someone who's already been their friend for years or whatever?

Gosh.
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+2 #94 Cuddlesquid 2012-12-02 19:14
So apparently now "demiromantic" is an orientation as well! Demiromantics don't fall in love with anyone unless they already have a strong emotional connection to them!

And they're already complaining about how special they are and how no one understands them!

Nuke Tumblr from orbit!
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+1 #93 A Meat 2012-08-21 10:47
Quoting Isfahan:
Quoting A Meat:
But people do fucked up things, does she not know that people are animals too? Also, other animals do horrible things.

Or is is beside the point and I'm just trying to ignore the stupidity of that argument she is making.


Oh, but you see, we can't apply our human-centric morality to what animals do! Rape is bad when humans do it, but when dolphins and apes do it, it's a wonderful part of nature! Since I am dolphin-kin, ipso facto I can rape whomever I want and no consequences should apply!

oh and might i add a preemptive DON'T OPPRESS ME


But you see, human morality justifies eating plants, who are living beings, therefore we must throw all of human morality out of the window. Then we can upgrade ourselves to animal morality where nobody is oppressed, just horribly murdered and devoured, along with the occasional rape and torture.
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+4 #92 Isfahan 2012-08-20 13:12
Quoting A Meat:
But people do fucked up things, does she not know that people are animals too? Also, other animals do horrible things.

Or is is beside the point and I'm just trying to ignore the stupidity of that argument she is making.


Oh, but you see, we can't apply our human-centric morality to what animals do! Rape is bad when humans do it, but when dolphins and apes do it, it's a wonderful part of nature! Since I am dolphin-kin, ipso facto I can rape whomever I want and no consequences should apply!

oh and might i add a preemptive DON'T OPPRESS ME
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+4 #91 montrith 2012-08-20 12:55
Quoting Portaxx:
It's not about making actual sense. It's about talking so much that your Tumblr followers assume you must have a point.


"Here's an accusation I made up. Now watch me use my brilliant mind to tear my imaginary opponent into pieces! Please like and follow if you want me to keep on fighting windmills."
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+2 #90 Portaxx 2012-08-20 12:21
Quoting A Meat:

Or is is beside the point and I'm just trying to ignore the stupidity of that argument she is making.


The thing about Outlawroad is that she doesn't honestly care if her points make sense or are even in response to anything. In her mind, asexuals are beaten into submission in every possible way (language, relationships, careers, NATURE ITSELF) and she constantly fighting a fight for "ace rights." A fight against literally nobody. She doesn't typically write her essays in response to anything, yet they are thousands of words long and phrased as if she's in some kind of argument. She essentially believes "if I make ALL THE WORDS ON INTERNETS, then I'll be a wise warrior for equal rights!" Her leaps in logic serve no purpose but to give her an excuse to write more words.

It's not about making actual sense. It's about talking so much that your Tumblr followers assume you must have a point.
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+1 #89 A Meat 2012-08-20 11:09
Quoting Portaxx:
outlawroad.tumblr.com/.../...

Okay I promise I won't keep updating people on Outlawroad's insanity, but good fucking god. The sheer amount of wrong in this post is staggering.

For those of you who hesitate to wade through another one of her word salads, basically she says "people say asexuals aren't human [note: ?????????] but GUESS WHAT! Animals don't do anything fucked up ever! So take THAT, straw men!!!"

People are already reblogging this with explanations that what the hell, animals do horrendous things all the time. So I bet she'll delete this soon. Catch it while you can!


But people do fucked up things, does she not know that people are animals too? Also, other animals do horrible things.

Or is is beside the point and I'm just trying to ignore the stupidity of that argument she is making.
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+1 #88 Portaxx 2012-08-20 09:12
outlawroad.tumblr.com/.../...

Okay I promise I won't keep updating people on Outlawroad's insanity, but good fucking god. The sheer amount of wrong in this post is staggering.

For those of you who hesitate to wade through another one of her word salads, basically she says "people say asexuals aren't human [note: ?????????] but GUESS WHAT! Animals don't do anything fucked up ever! So take THAT, straw men!!!"

People are already reblogging this with explanations that what the hell, animals do horrendous things all the time. So I bet she'll delete this soon. Catch it while you can!
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+2 #87 Portaxx 2012-08-13 19:53
outlawroad.tumblr.com/.../...

Also I recently discovered that the "guy" she totally wasn't crushing on because she's aromantiplatoni whatever was actually a straight woman. A straight woman who would have not been interested in a relationship with another woman anyway. So really her story was "hi, hetero, female friend! Please get into a gay, sexless non-relationshi p with me wherein you are not allowed to date or even really look at any men and be roomies with me forever. What? Where are you going?! OMG SEXUALS ARE SO SELF-ABSORBED!! !!"
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+3 #86 Junga 2012-08-12 19:46
Any defense of this community, no matter how well-intentione d, is a joke. As far as I'm concerned "demisexuality" is the most utterly ludicrous thing to have ever been covered on The F Plus, even keeping in mind teenage girls who claim Lucifer loves to nom sandwiches in their kitchen.

I could spend the next 20 years of my life thinking about it and never devise a more aggressively retarded concoction of people desperately wanting to seem unique, majorities craving the oppression experience, asocial weirdos so disconnected from reality that they can't distinguish truth from media, and D&D nerds trying to quantify and classify and categorize and analyze every aspect of their identity no matter how mundane.

I've officially been surprised by something from the internet again. Hats off to you, demisexuals.
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+6 #85 Lé Mon! 2012-08-12 12:06
Quoting Wat.:
And that's one reason that asexuals sometimes choose to have sex with other people-- it's for the other person rather than themselves.

I really wish I'd stop reading sentences like this one. Honestly, if you're having sex with somebody that you like strictly because you consider it some sort of favor to them, you're benefitting neither party. And if you think "I'm going to let you have sex with me even though I'd rather not" is something a significant other would like to hear, you're dating a psychopath.
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+2 #84 ann onn 2012-08-11 00:45
Quoting Wat.:
Words


Um, I think you completely missed the point of this episode. It isn't about mocking asexuals who sometimes decide to participate in sex to keep their partner happy. It's about mocking people who say "I'm totally asexual, except for the times when I want to have sex." A low libido is not the same as being asexual, nor is not identifying with the popular media concept of sexuality. If we went by these people's definition of sexual identities, then everyone I know would be either asexual, demisexual or gray.
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+1 #83 Vore Hipster 2012-08-10 17:18
Quoting Reginald Charming:
How the fuck do you become a vore hipster?

You want to be eaten by a wolf-dragon? Pfft. I only fantasize about being eaten by members of the infraclass Allotheria. You've probably never heard of them. They're very underground.
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+1 #82 Reginald Charming 2012-08-10 14:01
Quoting GeorgeGregGeoff:
Jack Chick and I are disappointed that Dragonic_Wolf did not make it into this episode. She was the vore hipster from episode 54.


How the fuck do you become a vore hipster?
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