Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine [An Audiobook]

Friday, 30 March 2012 18:35 Lemon

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READERS: Jimmyfranks, Isfahan, Portaxx, John, Boots Raingear, and Lemon.

Edited by Jimmyfranks

One of our favorite sites, Regretsy, recently featured this Kindle-only novella by Kitty Glitter (author of Sherlock Holmes: A Case of Dicklessness and The Feline Puerto Rican), and fame immediately followed. The book made its way to the Kindle Top 20 list, Kitty Glitter collected a king's ransom for his efforts, and then the inevitable happened. This very much unlicensed and damging piece of fanfiction was removed from Amazon, and we all feared Wesley Crusher's erotic tale was never to be told again. We had to intervene. What we present to you here is Kitty Glitter's Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine, in full, without asides or commentary.

Here is the original posting about this book on Regretsy, with a few updates as it slowly gained in popularity. And if it turns out this story leaves you wanting more, you might be interested in another of Kitty Glitter's works, Bad Lieutenant: Pussy Blood for the low low price of 99 cents.

MUSIC USED

Star Trek: Encounters - Neil Norman and his Cosmic Orchestra
Star Trek Rap (feat. Prime Directive and Galaxy Class) - Those Aren't Muskets

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 April 2012 21:48

Comments

123

0 #25 Ian 2013-06-08 22:46

This is by far the funniest star trek related thing I have ever every heard, the writing is spot on and you guys got the timing perfect.

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+1 #24 Finickin 2012-11-29 14:37

Just wanted to chime in and say that this is probably my favorite episode of any podcast ever.

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+2 #23 Kitty Glitter 2012-05-20 23:02

Yes that was meant to be a reference to A&P, nobody else has ever noticed that before besides you. Or at least nobody ever asked me about that scene. I kind of pictured those three as being the girls from the story and to some degree the whole story was meant to be a parody of A&P and like the awakening the character has, except instead of quitting his job Wesley discovers necrophilia.

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+2 #22 Isfahan 2012-05-15 18:12

Oh by the way, were the three girls in the Circle-K a reference to John Updike's short story A & P? The one girl being named Queenie seemed like a good giveaway.

If it wasn't a reference to A & P, you should go ahead and tell people that it was.

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+2 #21 Kitty Glitter 2012-05-09 19:59

I didn't really get too much money in the end. :( But enough considering it was crappy fan fic I just did for fun.

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+5 #20 Isfahan 2012-04-27 12:27

Hi Kitty Glitter! I'd be lying if I said I don't envy you. Did you have to give back all of your Kindle money or did you manage to turn it all into yachts first?

Can I have one? Even one of the smaller ones would be okay!

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