Episode 67: Where Can I Find A Tailor For These Pinstripe Balls?



READERS: Boots Raingear, Nutshell Gulag, Bunnybread, Acierocolotl, Portaxx, Kumquatxop, Isfahan, and John.

Edited by Acierocolotl

For as long as man has had conscious thought, he has thought about sex, and this has certainly been reflected in his literary themes. From the literate but hypermasculine rememberances of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer, to the literate but impishly comedic creations of Voltaire's Candide to the not-at-all literate nor interesting fap material in John Cleland's Fanny Hill, erotic writing has had a storied history inside the pages of legitimate fiction. But fortunately, the English published Literary Review has helpfully highlighted some of the least impressive examples for us to lend our voices to. This week, the F Plus is on top of you, Skinner.

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All content for this episode was collected by The Literary Review for their annual Bad Sex In Writing Award. For a full look at the stuff we looked through, sift through this Google Doc Acier put together.


Last Updated on Tuesday, 28 February 2012 23:15  

Comments   

 
-1 #41 yellow jester 2013-12-27 19:03
The part about the tits making wet sounds made my scream out "EWWWWWWW"

I can't remember any other episode that has made me scream that, other than the frenulum episode which I will never re-listen to.
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+2 #40 Lé Mon! 2012-02-20 17:28
Quoting Isfahan:
The SSID of my home wireless network is "Police Van"

Mine's The Angry Dome, and that took me an hour and a half to decide on. Because why be clever when you can just quote Futurama instead?
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+1 #39 Notm 2012-02-20 04:33
Quoting Isfahan:
Yep, we are just an auryn snake-orgy of comedy.

It's hard to be funny on one's own. The SSID of my home wireless network is "Police Van" and after I thought that up I had to lay down and take a nap.


I think I need a nap after reading the words 'perverse ourbouros' and 'auryn snake orgy'.

Seriously, Can someone draw The F Plus Snake orgy? That would make my week.
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+4 #38 Isfahan 2012-02-19 23:58
Yep, we are just an auryn snake-orgy of comedy.

It's hard to be funny on one's own. The SSID of my home wireless network is "Police Van" and after I thought that up I had to lay down and take a nap.
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+3 #37 Acierwhatever 2012-02-19 13:55
Quoting Notm:
Acier fails at that job though because he is actually one of the funniest readers on the podcast.

You are much too kind. As dorky as this sounds, this really is a team effort, we feed off each other like a really perverse ourobouros.

I'm half-tempted to share the True Genesis File but I don't think anybody could handle it.
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+2 #36 skub 2012-02-18 22:12
Quoting Isfahan:
Aciero's "tuna from can" old-man voice is always a crowd-pleaser. Sneeze-Fetish Gimli (the Quebecois accent) is still his signature voice, but we can't not laugh at anything read by Mr. Tuna.


much mothafuckin tuna from a can love, woop woop
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+8 #35 Isfahan 2012-02-18 21:46
Aciero's "tuna from can" old-man voice is always a crowd-pleaser. Sneeze-Fetish Gimli (the Quebecois accent) is still his signature voice, but we can't not laugh at anything read by Mr. Tuna.
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+3 #34 Notm 2012-02-18 20:13
That was a good drawing skub!

Now, If only I could draw Lemon and Toast as two incredibly oversized breasts...

I mean, write my Toast and Lemon fanfic

I mean.. yeah.

Also It helps to have an unfunny informative guy like acier in the podcast. Acier fails at that job though because he is actually one of the funniest readers on the podcast.
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+1 #33 Portaxx 2012-02-18 18:52
Quoting skub:
Quoting NutshellGulag:
Hey, you just got the Portaxx artistic seal of approval. That is a rare and beautiful thing.


true, if the resident artiste thinks i'm UP2SNUF then i guess i've done well


WELL YEAH I MEAN LOOK AT HOW FUCKIN' ADORABLE THEY ARE I MEAN THEY'RE ALL 8) AND SO AM I
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+2 #32 skub 2012-02-18 16:41
Quoting NutshellGulag:
Hey, you just got the Portaxx artistic seal of approval. That is a rare and beautiful thing.


true, if the resident artiste thinks i'm UP2SNUF then i guess i've done well
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+4 #31 NutshellGulag 2012-02-18 14:03
Quoting skub:
Quoting Portaxx:

DOT EYES~ 8DDD

GOD THAT IS TOO CUTE


i'm glad SOMEBODY likes it


Hey, you just got the Portaxx artistic seal of approval. That is a rare and beautiful thing.
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+2 #30 skub 2012-02-18 06:06
Quoting Isfahan:
I just saw that picture and all I could think was "Podcast baaabies, we make our dreams come truuue"


in this episode, baby stog pretends he's an airplane pilot
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+4 #29 Isfahan 2012-02-17 22:01
I just saw that picture and all I could think was "Podcast baaabies, we make our dreams come truuue"
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+1 #28 French Toast 2012-02-17 18:39
Quoting skub:
oh hey i doodled a shitty picture of john and lemon i hope...... you like.....

i.imgur.com/ikdiU.png


Aw come on, that's not shitty! It's great! And not only because it fluffs up my ego. Lemon does look way happier than he ever has in real life, but I'll accept that on artistic license.
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+1 #27 skub 2012-02-17 18:01
Quoting Portaxx:

DOT EYES~ 8DDD

GOD THAT IS TOO CUTE


i'm glad SOMEBODY likes it
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+3 #26 Tibby 2012-02-17 14:57
Um, just so you know, David Mitchell the comedian and David Mitchell the novelist are two different people. I'm sure this doesn't matter to anyone, Comedy David would probably write excruciating sex scenes as well... But there you go. FACTS.

I can confirm that everything else relating to the podcast is entirely accurate. Well done.
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0 #25 Portaxx 2012-02-17 14:31
Quoting skub:
oh hey i doodled a shitty picture of john and lemon i hope...... you like.....

i.imgur.com/ikdiU.png


DOT EYES~ 8DDD

GOD THAT IS TOO CUTE
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+3 #24 Lè Mon! 2012-02-17 09:45
Quote:
oh hey i doodled a shitty picture of john
YAY!
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+6 #23 skub 2012-02-17 09:14
oh hey i doodled a shitty picture of john and lemon i hope...... you like.....

i.imgur.com/ikdiU.png
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+2 #22 Acierwhatever 2012-02-16 22:32
Quoting Lé Mon!:
Quote:
David Mitchell is a British comedian.

I noticed there was an edit break right after Mitchell's name was mentioned. I'm guessing Acier edited out a digression on this very fact.
Actually, no, there wasn't. I did edit out an explanation of who the hell Tom Wolfe was, but that was elsewhere in the recording. It was very informative but it wasn't funny, and I reserve the right to being the unfunny-doucheb ag-correcting-e verybody for myself.
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+1 #21 Lé Mon! 2012-02-16 20:57
Quote:
David Mitchell is a British comedian.
I noticed there was an edit break right after Mitchell's name was mentioned. I'm guessing Acier edited out a digression on this very fact.
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+1 #20 Cleretic 2012-02-16 18:49
David Mitchell is a British comedian. I would not be surprised if it was the same person.
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+4 #19 CASH ONLY 2012-02-16 13:47
I listened to this while sitting under a poster of Marlon Brando. It was terrible.
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+6 #18 Orville Redenbacher 2012-02-16 13:01
I realized halfway through that "From Will" was written from the perspective of William Shakespeare.

And then I threw up.
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+4 #17 montrith 2012-02-16 10:43
I knew this was going to be a classy episode when I heard the first bars of An der schönen blauen Donau, and I was right!

I'm so happy that the dog bit him, considering what the alternatives were.
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+1 #16 Z 2012-02-15 20:35
So many podcasts in a row! I don't know if I feel disturbed or aroused from the latest podcast.
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+2 #15 September 2012-02-15 11:55
Why, this is classy as all balls! You could air this on NPR. If you sounded a lot more bored in your reading.
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+2 #14 skub 2012-02-15 08:27
deliquescent rococo balls
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+1 #13 PurpleXVI 2012-02-15 06:15
I remember the first time I found these things. I was wondering if the swastika pubes were going to pop up at all, and was kind of relieved that they made it in at the end.
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+1 #12 Zamza 2012-02-15 04:35
Now that I think about it, Brent DiCrescenzo's idiosyncratic writing style really does seem to be very influential... Maybe history will judge that we were wrong about him?
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