Episode 61: Any Cling You Want (You Got It)

Thursday, 20 October 2011 17:52 Lemon

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READERS: Portaxx, Kumquatxop, Victor Laszlo, Boots Raingear, John, and Lemon.

Edited by Boots Raingear

We've been doing The F Plus podcast for a couple years now, so it's actually kind of an oversight on our part that we've never read stories about Roy Orbison. Or, more specifically, stories about Roy Orbison being completely wrapped up in clingfilm. Honestly, I can't imagine how we've avoided the subject for so long. This week, The F Plus finally experiences the greatest pleasure man has ever known.

PIECES READ, IN ORDER

Introduction to Ulli's Roy Orbison in Clingfilm Website
Story #1: Roy Orbison visits Dusseldorf to attend to certain matters.
Story #2: Roy Orbison suffers a tragic accident on his tour bus.
Story #3: Roy Orbison needs de-worming powder for his dog.
Christmas Story: Roy Orbison suggests a Christmas gift for Ulli's mother.
An Unusual Point of View: Roy Orbison clingfilm stories take an unexpected twist
GAMETIME!: The Roy Orbison in Clingfilm Adventure Game

Music Used:

Roy Orbison - You Got It
Roy Orbison - Pretty Paper
Roy Orbison - Running Scared

ADDITIONAL FUN

Cosmopolitan Sex Tip #12

Tags:

Last Updated on Monday, 03 December 2012 18:11

Comments

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+1 #55 Cuddlesquid 2013-01-22 21:53

Whoops. Portaxx did correctly identify it as the best haiku ever. And she's technically within one syllable of being correct!

Everyone wins.

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+3 #54 Cuddlesquid 2013-01-22 21:46

Hey guys? You know how after Boots read "Roy sits impassively, like a monochrome Buddha. My palms are sweaty", one of you chimed in with, "That's the worst haiku ever"?

Roy sits impassive,
like a monochrome Buddha.
My palms are sweaty.

Remove one syllable from the original and it becomes the BEST haiku ever.

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+1 #53 Zsa Zsa 2013-01-01 05:59

So was Bumpgrrl not in the episode 'cos she's got a busy schedule or was it a comedic decision, akin to trying not to read ahead? Because Lemon hilariously butchered his German, particularly Köln (AKA Cologne) and Aachen (which starts the same way "Ach du lieber!" does). Sorry pal but your German accent isn't much more authentic than your West London one!

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+1 #52 Cuddlesquid 2012-12-31 16:17

Quoting BootsRaingear:

At the same time, Jimmyfranks was turning Wilfred Laurier into Spock

This is one of the most amazing things I've read on this website.

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+5 #51 BootsRaingear 2012-12-31 13:22

Quoting Cuddlesquid:

Please tell me there are photos of this clingfilm-wrapped treasure.

(Also, I hear the last two chapters are entirely in German. I have a friend who's fluent in German. Expect a googledoc of the translation, Ridiculists.)

Bumpgrrl can read German. She was reading it aloud as we waited for the train after F+Live 2. At the same time, Jimmyfranks was turning Wilfred Laurier into Spock and a good friend of the podcast was trying to get a transit pass while resting his head against the machine that delivers it. That may have been the second greatest moment of my life.

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+1 #50 Cuddlesquid 2012-12-31 09:56

Quoting Isfahan:

Kumquatxop presented Boots with a copy of that very book at F Plus Live 2. It was wrapped completely in clingfilm.

Please tell me there are photos of this clingfilm-wrapped treasure.

(Also, I hear the last two chapters are entirely in German. I have a friend who's fluent in German. Expect a googledoc of the translation, Ridiculists.)

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+5 #49 Isfahan 2012-12-31 06:49

Quoting Cuddlesquid:

I have purchased Mr. Haarbuste's novel of Roy Orbison in clingfilm from amazon.

Kumquatxop presented Boots with a copy of that very book at F Plus Live 2. It was wrapped completely in clingfilm.

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+4 #48 ForTheLoveOfAmazon 2012-12-30 22:32

Quoting Cuddlesquid:

I have purchased Mr. Haarbuste's novel of Roy Orbison in clingfilm from amazon.

What will it come packaged in this is very VERY important

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+5 #47 Cuddlesquid 2012-12-30 20:09

A JOYOUS NEW DEVELOPMENT!

I have purchased Mr. Haarbuste's novel of Roy Orbison in clingfilm from amazon.

If 2012 was the Year of the Hip Clip, 2013 is going to be the Year of the Clingfilm.

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+9 #46 Navigator 2012-06-13 17:45

On a whim, I decided to play the clingflim adventure game and make all the wrong choices, and this is the last paragraph of what happens if you put on the magic ring:

Quote:

Your terrapin has been envious of the Ring of Power for some time and as soon as you take it off she slips it on her claw. She in her turn proceeds to rule like a Queen and you are forced to attend to her needs constantly and redecorate her bedroom every week. The power soon goes to her head. She orders a 200-foot statue of her to be erected in the town square, but as none of the sculptors can see her it is not very good and she has them all killed. Soon Dusseldorf is a dark brooding metropolis ruled over by an impetuous, if adorable, invisible terrapin Witch-Queen... This brings on the apocalypse.

I always knew Jetta was a crafty one.

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