LIVE EPISODE: A Series of Postcards From F Plus Live 2










Recorded by Jimmyfranks, edited by Lemon

Alright, you lucky people out there, here it finally is: The audio for F Plus Live 2, plus two act break movies to watch. That makes for over three hours of podcastin', so don't never say we ain't done nothing to entertain you. Also, please keep quiet about our use of quadruple negatives. Anyway, let's get to the content here.

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READERS: Kumquatxop, Boots Raingear, Jack Chick, STOG, and John

Part One of F Plus Live covers a variety of self-help topics, all of them silly and useless. Kumquatxop gives a plethora of fashion and toiletry advice before explaining the hidden beauty of the fistpump. Boots Raingear advises anal constricting and navel denting to repair your immaterial fiber. Jack Chick teaches us that the real secret of voodoo is irritating pop culture references. STOG teaches us to love water and stay off the disappointment frequency, and John wants us all to learn how to bounce our eyes each and every time a sexy lady does something lewd in front of you, like answering the telephone.

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Music Used:
  • TLC - No Scrubs
  • The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health
  • Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You
  • Queens of the Stone Age - The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret
  • The Velvet Underground - Temptation Inside Your Heart

Before the break, we premiered Portaxx's cartoon "Internet Computer", based on audio taken from an early episode. If you haven't yet watched seen this cartoon, it's high time you fixed that deficiency in your life.

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As we came back from the break, Portaxx took a book she found about drawing manga (titled, appropriately enough, Draw Manga), and used the information contained therein to turn everyone in attendance into visual artists. Either that or we mocked the book's creator. You be the judge, I guess.

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READERS: Lemon, Jimmyfranks, bumpgrrl, Portaxx, and Isfahan

Part Two of F Plus Live starts out a little dirty, but eventually we wipe up the floor. In Lemon's Craft Corner, our podcast host comes out and teaches you how to make your own sex toys at home. Jimmyfranks teaches everybody the fine art of erotic conversation, before realizing the audience can do a better job themselves. bumpgrrl repeats some key phrases and ideas until people start buying her drinks. Lemon comes back to the stage to handle the works of a prolific author who has reached sexual godhood. Portaxx covers 3 or 4 ways to say I Love You that don't involve food products. Finally, Isfahan teaches you the way to deal with violent attackers that is absolutely guaranteed..so long as the attackers aren't violent.
NOTE: Here's a photo of Dusty White, author of How To Be A Sexual God.

download look at Dusty White
Music Used:
  • STOG ft. Lemon - Lemon's Craft Corner Theme
  • Poison - Talk Dirty To Me
  • Echo & The Bunnymen - All In Your Mind
  • Lovage - Anger Management
  • Annie Lennox - No More I Love Yous
  • WAR - Why Can't We Be Friends?


Last Updated on Friday, 20 April 2012 15:03  

Comments   

 
0 #44 ForTheLoveOfLemonade 2013-03-04 12:07
Quoting Les Min:

Quoting SVG Code:
fill:lime

I worry how far you will take the citrus gimmick. Will I wake up one day to find that the entire planet has been turned into one giant lemon??

Wont you stop at nothing you madman?
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+1 #43 Les Min 2013-03-04 10:09
Damn it. I was hoping this would be a tutorial on how to hand-code anime SVG I just learned how to make a star, so clearly Chun Li is next.
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0 #42 ForTheLoveOfAnime 2013-03-03 11:46
Clearly portaxx should've followed this tutorial instead:

vector.tutsplus.com/articles/what-is-animemanga-and-why-should-you-create-it-in-vector/


Only the finest tutorials can be found on Tutsplus!
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0 #41 Airrider 2013-02-12 15:30
Why do I get the feeling you could raise the next Ed Gein on that last book?
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+3 #40 KingKalamari 2012-11-02 17:02
Wait, I just noticed something about that Na'vi rendition of We Will Rock You:

The Na'vi don't have a word for "Big Disgrace"? That seems like kind of a weird limitation of the language...
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+1 #39 Lé Mon! 2012-04-20 14:59
Quoting Sex Bomb:
When I try to look at the slide show it blows up my Chrome. Just thought you should know.

Mp4 links yanked. Workin' right on YouTube, and iTunes'll download the videos if you subscribe to the feed.
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0 #38 Sex Bomb 2012-04-19 22:53
When I try to look at the slide show it blows up my Chrome. Just thought you should know.
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+1 #37 AliceRoo 2012-03-14 01:48
Wish I would have found this sooner. Funny as hell!
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+2 #36 Portaxx 2011-11-11 16:43
Quoting Photomancer:
Consider me going out for the next live show! Definitely!


YAY FUN!
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+2 #35 Photomancer 2011-11-11 14:24
Consider me going out for the next live show! Definitely!
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+2 #34 Photomancer 2011-11-11 14:13
Quoting Portaxx:
Quoting Photomancer:
Next year, you can expect a tubby nerdy guy with a goatee and a photographer's vest to show up, laugh his ass off, drink moderately heavily, and duck out quickly due to middling antisocial tendencies and social anxiety!


I couldn't decide which joke to go with, so pick one:

1) Wait, I thought you said you WEREN'T at the last ones!
2) Hang on, I think I've podcasted with you before! Several times! At once!
3) For some reason, we were expecting that anyway...

AT ANY RATE I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU A HUG AND WELCOME YOU TO THE SHOW BECAUSE YAY AWESOME PEOPLE ^____^


Okay - perhaps I won't duck out too rapidly... Hugs are fun!
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+4 #33 Portaxx 2011-11-11 13:46
Quoting Photomancer:
Next year, you can expect a tubby nerdy guy with a goatee and a photographer's vest to show up, laugh his ass off, drink moderately heavily, and duck out quickly due to middling antisocial tendencies and social anxiety!


I couldn't decide which joke to go with, so pick one:

1) Wait, I thought you said you WEREN'T at the last ones!
2) Hang on, I think I've podcasted with you before! Several times! At once!
3) For some reason, we were expecting that anyway...

AT ANY RATE I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU A HUG AND WELCOME YOU TO THE SHOW BECAUSE YAY AWESOME PEOPLE ^____^
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+3 #32 Photomancer 2011-11-11 11:12
Ya know, every blasted time this rolls around, I have some sort of situation which makes it impossible for me to attend... And I've had quite enough of it. Next year, you can expect a tubby nerdy guy with a goatee and a photographer's vest to show up, laugh his ass off, drink moderately heavily, and duck out quickly due to middling antisocial tendencies and social anxiety! Oh, and step out side to smoke like a chimney. That one's a given.
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+8 #31 Runic 2011-10-18 13:46
Lemon's Craft Corner has to be a recurring theme for future F+ Lives, if only so you can reuse that fantastic theme song.
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+4 #30 Commisama 2011-10-15 08:58
Quoting jackchickINHELL:
Quoting Commisama:
Quoting PORTAXX:

You totally missed out on Jack singing Christmas carols in the anime voice. It was fucking spectacular.


Aww shit. Next FPlus Live needs to be in summer, maaan. Or at least further away from exams.


Portaxx is a liar and a cad. That never happened!


I still believe in anime Santa Claus, and you can't stop me!
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+3 #29 jackchickINHELL 2011-10-14 22:35
Quoting Commisama:
Quoting PORTAXX:

You totally missed out on Jack singing Christmas carols in the anime voice. It was fucking spectacular.


Aww shit. Next FPlus Live needs to be in summer, maaan. Or at least further away from exams.


Portaxx is a liar and a cad. That never happened!
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+3 #28 Commisama 2011-10-14 22:16
Quoting PORTAXX:

You totally missed out on Jack singing Christmas carols in the anime voice. It was fucking spectacular.


Aww shit. Next FPlus Live needs to be in summer, maaan. Or at least further away from exams.
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+2 #27 PORTAXX 2011-10-14 19:29
Quoting Commisama:
I would have expected Ash Ketchum in a metal shirt, to be honest.


You totally missed out on Jack singing Christmas carols in the anime voice. It was fucking spectacular.
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+4 #26 Commisama 2011-10-14 19:09
Quoting jackchickINHELL:

Yes who would have expected me to be a fat dude wearing a metal shirt with a beard? PARADIGM COMPLETELY SHIFTED



I would have expected Ash Ketchum in a metal shirt, to be honest.
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+4 #25 Reginald Charming 2011-10-14 01:15
notm is probably a voice, floating in the void

the barkeep will have to get used to floating dollar bills and beer disappearing out of glasses
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+2 #24 PORTAXX 2011-10-14 00:31
Quoting Notm:
Flowershirt fetish podcast, am I right guys?

Also Portaxx gets excited about a F Plus Europe tour and yet an australian listener is ignored.

That crazy geography, I tell you.


OH NOTM, YOU KNOW I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU IN THE RL

(((((((NOTM))))))))
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+3 #23 Notm 2011-10-13 23:29
Flowershirt fetish podcast, am I right guys?

Also Portaxx gets excited about a F Plus Europe tour and yet an australian listener is ignored.

That crazy geography, I tell you.
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+3 #22 PORTAXX 2011-10-13 20:57
Quoting Isfahan:
Are flower shirts different from Hawaiian shirts? 'Cause I got a yellow Hawaiian shirt that has flowers on it and I almost brought it to F+ Live but then I remembered you wear "flower shirts" and I didn't wanna be stealing your flower-shirt thunder.


Nah I think they're the same thing. YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT WE COULD HAVE BEEN FLOWER SHIRT BUDDIES~

Incidentally I am wearing my Jimmyfranks shirt AS WE SPEAK.
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+3 #21 Isfahan 2011-10-13 20:54
Are flower shirts different from Hawaiian shirts? 'Cause I got a yellow Hawaiian shirt that has flowers on it and I almost brought it to F+ Live but then I remembered you wear "flower shirts" and I didn't wanna be stealing your flower-shirt thunder.
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+5 #20 PORTAXX 2011-10-13 20:52
Quoting Navigator:
Quoting dodoman1:
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.


Indeed. Portaxx, if that's you, for whatever reason, I thought your hair would be shorter.


Haircuts are for the weak, my friend. Only through ridiculously long hair and eye-melting flower shirts shall I ascend to my rightful throne as a Podcasting God.
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+5 #19 PORTAXX 2011-10-13 20:50
Quoting jackchickINHELL:
Quoting Utan:
Quote:
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.

It is, and speaking of, from what I can see in those TINY PICTURES, Kumpot looks nothing like I expected him to. Neither does Jack.


Yes who would have expected me to be a fat dude wearing a metal shirt with a beard? PARADIGM COMPLETELY SHIFTED
MAYBE THEY EXPECTED CORPSE PAINT.

JACK.

>8(
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+7 #18 jackchickINHELL 2011-10-13 19:49
Quoting Utan:
Quote:
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.

It is, and speaking of, from what I can see in those TINY PICTURES, Kumpot looks nothing like I expected him to. Neither does Jack.
Yes who would have expected me to be a fat dude wearing a metal shirt with a beard? PARADIGM COMPLETELY SHIFTED
Quote | This is spam.
 
 
+3 #17 Navigator 2011-10-13 19:42
Quoting dodoman1:
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.


Indeed. Portaxx, if that's you, for whatever reason, I thought your hair would be shorter.
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+2 #16 Utan 2011-10-13 18:53
Quote:
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.
It is, and speaking of, from what I can see in those TINY PICTURES, Kumpot looks nothing like I expected him to. Neither does Jack.

Quote:
THERE WAS and it got corrupted and Lemon has yet to forgive me for it ;_;
I doubt forgiveness is even possible for such terrible sin.
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+3 #15 dodoman1 2011-10-13 15:39
It's weird to imagine you guys as people and not just floating voices.
Quote | This is spam.
 

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