We've been doing The F Plus podcast for a couple years now, so it's actually kind of an oversight on our part that we've never read stories about Roy Orbison. Or, more specifically, stories about Roy Orbison being completely wrapped up in clingfilm. Honestly, I can't imagine how we've avoided the subject for so long. This week, The F Plus finally experiences the greatest pleasure man has ever known.
So I just now realized that I accidentally uploaded an unfinished workfile of the audio for part 2 instead of the correct file with cleaned audio throughout. Both files start out the same, but by the time bumpgrrl gets on stage things get a little wonky, and by the time Portaxx is listing ways to say I Love You, the audio is definitely A Problem.
Honestly, I'm sure plenty of you noticed this, but maybe you were too polite to say anything, because it wasn't put to my attention until now.
SO, what I need you to do is delete your old file, fplus_live_2b_final.mp3. That's the one that's unkind to your ears, and it was uploaded accidentally. DELETE IT! The new file is called fplus_live_2b_fixedaudio.mp3, and that is up to standard. Also, you can actually hear Portaxx speak, which is sometimes a good thing.
As I said, both files start out the exact same, but there's a real difference in sound quality after Jimmyfranks' reading. Plus, now you have an excuse to listen to this again!
Alright, you lucky people out there, here it finally is: The audio for F Plus Live 2, plus two act break movies to watch. That makes for over three hours of podcastin', so don't never say we ain't done nothing to entertain you. Also, please keep quiet about our use of quadruple negatives. Anyway, let's get to the content here.
Part One of F Plus Live covers a variety of self-help topics, all of them silly and useless. Kumquatxop gives a plethora of fashion and toiletry advice before explaining the hidden beauty of the fistpump. Boots Raingear advises anal constricting and navel denting to repair your immaterial fiber. Jack Chick teaches us that the real secret of voodoo is irritating pop culture references. STOG teaches us to love water and stay off the disappointment frequency, and John wants us all to learn how to bounce our eyes each and every time a sexy lady does something lewd in front of you, like answering the telephone.
TLC - No Scrubs
The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health
Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You
Queens of the Stone Age - The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret
The Velvet Underground - Temptation Inside Your Heart
Before the break, we premiered Portaxx's cartoon "Internet Computer", based on audio taken from an early episode. If you haven't yet watched seen this cartoon, it's high time you fixed that deficiency in your life.
As we came back from the break, Portaxx took a book she found about drawing manga (titled, appropriately enough, Draw Manga), and used the information contained therein to turn everyone in attendance into visual artists. Either that or we mocked the book's creator. You be the judge, I guess.
Part Two of F Plus Live starts out a little dirty, but eventually we wipe up the floor. In Lemon's Craft Corner, our podcast host comes out and teaches you how to make your own sex toys at home. Jimmyfranks teaches everybody the fine art of erotic conversation, before realizing the audience can do a better job themselves. bumpgrrl repeats some key phrases and ideas until people start buying her drinks. Lemon comes back to the stage to handle the works of a prolific author who has reached sexual godhood. Portaxx covers 3 or 4 ways to say I Love You that don't involve food products. Finally, Isfahan teaches you the way to deal with violent attackers that is absolutely guaranteed..so long as the attackers aren't violent.
NOTE: Here's a photo of Dusty White, author of How To Be A Sexual God.
This is the last in our series of shorts for a little while, while we get the F Plus Live audio prepped for public consumption. This is a six minute short originally recorded during episode 42 (The Childfree Hardcore Episode). In the episode, we had read a little piece from a guy named Otakindude, who was angry because he was too fat to be Henry. After reading his tirade, we found his livejournal, which is what we're reading here. What's Otakindude's religion? And how did he discover his vampire powers? You're about to find out!
These are his only two posts on his own livejournal community. If anyone happens to find anything more by otakin_dude, let us know please.
Lemon "Lemon" Lemon-Lemon: Hey, what's that music you used called?
JAZAABOO A. PORTAXX: It's the Play! (yes that's the name of the concert, excalamation point and all) version of Theme of Laura
Lemon "Lemon" Lemon-Lemon: Uh.... okay, thanks.
F Plus Live has been over for 4 days now, but I think a couple of us are still recuperating. Or at least, I know that I'm still recuperating.
Anyway, there is clean audio of the event, which we'll be putting up eventually, but first I wanted to talk about something which was a surprise, not only to the audience, but also to our readers.
Portaxx contacted me a week before the thing and said she wanted to make a real cartoony cartoon to show at F Plus Live. I've known Portaxx long enough to know that she's not the type to make idle "wouldn't it be cool if" chatter, but I was skeptical that she'd actually be able to put a cartoon together before the thing. And it turned out that she could.
The cartoon embedded below debuted to a stunned and live audience on Friday, September 30th at about midnight. I'm sure nobody was expecting it.
So, what we have here doesn't actually count as an F Plus Episode, but rather as a sketch that we did, based on a couple ideas we had been thinking about for a month or so. What happens when two very different improv troupes battle it out for supremacy? I guess you'll have to find out.
In this outtake from episode 47 (In The World of Dragon Dildos, Is The Chin Wattle Man King?), we come across a thread where Bad Dragon customers freely discuss the times that their masturbation routines went unexpectedly. Absolute horror ensues.
So if you visit this website with any regularity, you probably have noticed that over the last couple months or so, visiting the F Plus website can give you a fair amount of SQL errors.
A while ago this wasn't a huge concern, but as the podcast gets more and more listeners, that translates into more and more simultaneous bandwidth used. And clearly, our old site setup just wasn't able to accommodate the traffic anymore.
So, this is the new setup. It should look pretty much the same, except when you click on things, you should expect the pages to actually load. I know, I know. This might take some getting used to.
I do want very much want to thank the several of you F Plus listeners who contacted me with offers of hosting the site on their own systems. Assuming you meant it, that was a lovely gesture and I might have taken you up on it, but the issue wasn't really getting a new host, it was just not wanting to deal with the process of copying everything over.
I got a couple shorts I'm planning on releasing in the very near future, but meantime let's just revel in the fact that the site is working properly again.
The Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein contended that a man could never truly know the mind of any other man. His belief was that language and thought are just too dissimilar in concept that to use one to explain the other is at best insufficent and at worst a fruitless excercise. Now it's about 70 years later, and we've all learned how to say “it's just like that one Star Trek episode.” TV Tropes is a community that defines and catalogues the shortcuts used in modern fiction, but this week, The F Plus is going to learn a little bit about these TV Tropers, and why so many of them are so gosh darn terrific.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Somewhere in the time frame between us recording this episode and us actually putting this episode online (it takes longer than you'd think), the TV Tropes admins decided to yank Troper Tales on the grounds that the content was embarrassing and made their site look stupid. Some might say the damage has already been done, but I guess this episode will now serve as a memory of what once was.
At least two different wikis (one and two) have been started to fill the gap, but neither contain anywhere near as much content as the original Troper Tales dump. BUT FORTUNATELY Portaxx had the forethought to collect most of the material we read, and we've compiled this handy readalong document for those of you who like to play at home.
Starting any creative endeavor takes a lot of hard work, dilligence, business acumen and some amount of money. It used to be that you were expected to come up with all of that yourself, but with the internet being what it is, people have come to expect that other people should provide at least one of those important factors. To that end, we would like to introduce you to kickstarter.com - a site dedicated to enterpraneurs amassing capital by the time-tested means of asking someone else for it. It's kind of like panhandling, except they like to use the word investment. This week on The F Plus, you won't need to put down your controller to grab a snack.
The reading of the kickstarter page for the Stupid Wankers Podcast was edited out of the episode, though a number of references to it stayed in, like the opening segment and the reader intros.
The Widgets are a comedy music duo that we couldn't really read because the real content is in the video. For their plea for donations, the video starts out with one of the two guys taking a shit, and then when he's done they sing a song about fucking a pie. Just.... No. No, no no.
This is a kickstarter page for a Halo fan film. Before you click, they are asking for quite a bit of money, and they got significantly less than they were hoping for. Please guess at what both those numbers would be, and then click to see how close you were.
So, after hearing about all these unfunded projects, would you like to see what a successful Kickstarter project looks like? Here you go! I have absolutely no idea what The Comedy Button did that the Stupid Wankers didn't, but apparently the secret is that you're supposed to say "brap" a lot.