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Limited Edition F Plus Mousepads

For years now, you've been listening to The F Plus and wondering one thing: When are you fuckers going to produce some cheap schwag that I can buy, so all my nerd friends know which one of us is the raddest (and that it's me, if I haven't made that clear).

Well, first of all, you should really construct your thoughts a little better. I mean, that was a whole bunch of text, and it started out as a question, but then it didn't even have a question mark at the end. Poor form, bro. Oh, but if you've been waiting for the day when we'd sell some shit to you, today is that day.

We just printed a very, very small run of F+ mousepads, and as of this posting, there are only 13 available. If there's a huge demand, we'll do another pressing of this design, but that's definitely not assured so buy this thing right now before you allow your brain time to think it over.

These mousepads are 9"x7.5", rubbber-backed with a cloth top. And on that cloth-top, a 1960's comic book style advertisement for a Malatoran Robot Body (ep #69), a bottle of Balloon Juice (ep #24) and you very own limited edition Gamers Hip Clip (ep #59). The drawings were lovingly crafted by Portaxx, the layout and ad copy was drunkenly thrown together by Lemon.

Oh, I suppose you want PICTURES, doncha? Fine. But I feel it spoils the surprise.

We're giving these things for 9 bucks, shipping included within the United States. If you don't live inside the United States, I might ask you to kick another two bucks in, just to make up for the shipping cost.

Okay, that's enough talk! BUY THE THING!


Took about 3 hours, so thanks to all of you who snatched these up.

For the rest of you, if you're still interested, let us know. We might do another series of 'em. Maybe.

Last Updated on Monday, 27 January 2014 09:32

Episode 74: Our Love Doesn't Need A Third Dimension

READERS: John, Bunnybread, Boots Raingear, Portaxx, and Lemon.

Edited by John

An independant artist and Jell-O spokeswoman once said "love is a battlefield". She then said "love is a battlefield" many more times, because it was part of the chorus of her hit single, and if you don't sing the hits, the guys that run the state fairs don't give you the money. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, love. It's a difficult topic, fraught with pain, heartbreak and uncertainty. Just because you love someone, does that mean she'll love you back? Well, if the object of your affection is a fictional cartoon character, the answer is always no, and among Otaku, that means yes. We're reading the thoughts of people in love with cartoon characters, and their love is just as real as their love for their last girlfriend. You don't know her. She lives in Canada. This week, The F Plus gets a busy signal trying to call the 3-D Police Department.

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  1. A Discourse On And Defense Of The Waifu Movement.
  2. ronery thread?
  3. ITT your definition of why 2D >>>> 3D
  4. ITT: Random /mai/-related posts...Share your daily waifu experience
  5. /mai/ I have one a bit waifu related problem. This might sound like a joke but it isn't, honestly.
  6. Are you people joking with this? Please tell me your are
  7. With your waifu was it love at first sight or did you fall in love over time?
  8. Why is she so perfect?
  9. If you have a sex drive, you are still a normalfag


Last Updated on Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:19

IRREGULAR #1: Kindleporn Authors


Kindleporn Authors

Irregular is a whole new podcast concept we've been working on for a little while, and we hope you're as pleased with the result as we are currently.

Differing from The F Plus, the idea behind Irregular is to actually have subjects on the show, and to have a conversation with them about what makes them who they are. This is very much a side project which won't be done as often as The F Plus, but it's a concept we're excited about and based on the strength of our first episode, we're hoping to make some more of these.

Irregular has its own website as well as its own RSS Feed, so people subscribed to The F Plus won't be automatically downloading episodes of Irregular or vice versa, but we will be posting updates on this site when new episodes are out.

In the first Irregular episode, we have a lively discussion with three very different Kindleporn authors. There's Jessi Bond, Francis Ashe and a secret guest who wishes to remain nameless for reasons that will become obvious fairly quickly into the episode.

We spend about an hour and a half talking about the business of erotica publishing, the inspiration necessary for writing stories about vampires having sex with their stepfathers, and the sideways efforts of censorship.

Music: L'Aguardiente by Camper Van Beethoven

Last Updated on Friday, 16 May 2014 19:48

Episode 73: I Can Do Dream Analysis In My Sleep

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A hawk's head.
A hawk's head.

READERS: Isfahan, Boots Raingear, Victor Laszlo, John, and Lemon.

Edited by Isfahan

For man to be truly aware of himself, he must explore his own mind. To examine your own thoughts, wants and failures and growing on the things you've learned is the way to thrive; to be a member of an evolving species who looks toward the horizon and takes a step forward. But what of dreams, those manifestations of your subconscious that you cannot seize control of? With an expression so disjointed and free of rational throught, can a dream really ever be understood? Well, if you're a member of, sure! All you gotta do is start typing. This week, The F Plus is just waiting for Varzandeh to show up.

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  1. I am a fox.
  2. What does dreaming of sores mean?
  3. Pink Elephant
  4. Hawk Heads???
  5. Frightening dream!! will I lose him forever!?
  6. Horrifically discusting dream *warning* very disturbing
  7. eggs
  8. Lucid Abilities, what are yours?


  • Everly Brothers - All I Have to Do Is Dream
  • Twin Peaks - The Dream
  • Dokken - Dream Warriors
  • Dead Milkmen - Dean's Dream

Last Updated on Friday, 18 May 2012 21:27

Episode 72: Commissioner Gordon's Back Up Plan

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^- Jo Kitty In-Game

READERS: Isfahan, Boots Raingear, STOG, Kumquatxop, John, and Lemon.

Edited by Isfahan

Popular media seems to get no end of pleasure in exploring the day to day drudgery of characters who belong in a comic book universe. For those superheroes and supervillians, their life is so absurd that there is very little relatability of those characters to people living in the real world. But then thanks to online RPGs like City of Heroes and Champions Online, anyone with an internet connection and a love for paying fees can create their own superhero and live in a world populated exclusively by other characters who also have stupid skillsets. For the first of our Race For Ridiculism Showcase Episodes, Cleretic will be bringing us to this world, and forgetting to pack enough moist towelettes. This week, buy one glimp and get one free!

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  1. Shadowkatt Infinatum
  2. Midnight
  3. Widowmaker
  5. Glamourous
  6. Sing Sang Song
  7. Zero Hikari
  8. Sierra Burnheart
  9. Golden Julie
  10. Velvet Justice
  11. Kenri Masamune
  12. Lady Crysta
  13. Scott Sin
  14. ChaosWhispers
  15. Vivian (Champions Online)
  16. Tesselia
  17. Death Bolt Johnny
  18. Dog Boi
  19. Naughty Lil Succubi
  20. Jo Kitty

NOTE: for City of Heroes, Cleretic found these bios in-game, thus convenient weblinks are not available. However, you can see the document with all the bios we read, plus a couple more fun ones that didn't make it in.


  • REM - Superman
  • R. Kelly - Gotham City
  • The Traits - Nobody Loves the Hulk

Last Updated on Tuesday, 01 May 2012 18:11

Pokemon OK!

I'll just put this here.

Last Updated on Monday, 27 January 2014 09:32

Episode 71: Amazon Recommends Years of Therapy

READERS: Jimmyfranks, Portaxx, John, Isfahan, Nutshell Gulag, and Lemon.

Edited by Lemon

Respected authors and lifelong readers hold differing opinion on the benefits of the kindle. While some bemoan the loss of the tactile pleasures of a good novel, others feel an e-book is a purer manifestation of the written word. Of course, their debate is an irrelevancy. Human society never backs away from a technology for romantic reasons and those who want to do so are usually being nostalgic just because they enjoy being nostalgic. Plus, most people are just reading porn on those things anyway. This week, The F Plus tries to return our inflatable dog.

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  1. Sluts In Space (Alien Sci-Fi Tentacle Sex Erotica) by Katie Cramer
  2. A Gangbang On A Cruise Ship & Hitchhiking by India Foxen
  3. Revenge Sex by Tina Bowden
  4. Teacher's Pet: Passing the Test by A. Ash
  5. Lust For Anal Orgazmo by A Missy Diamond
  6. Multiple Anal Orgasms - Her Best Anal Sex Ever by Carnie Johnston
  7. Taming My Teddy Bear - An Erotic Story (Plushie Fetish) by Jade K. Scott
  8. Brianna by Lexie X
  9. Threesome (an erotic short story) by Roxy Jacobs
  10. Santa Enters the Back Door by Whiskey McNaughton
  11. Cheating Housewives Knocked Up! Rent Money Slut by Natalia Darque
  12. Confessions of a Sorority Girl: The Omega Train by Natalia Darque
  13. My Plastic Blow-up Dog Brutus by Peter De Sade
  14. Sleep with My Little Girl's Best Friend by Peter De Sade
  15. And then a selection of titles


  • Lobsterdust - Britney The Pimp (Britney Spears vs Don Julian)
  • X - Adult Books
  • Madness - Night Boat To Cairo
  • Magnetic Fields - The Book of Love
  • Del Tha Funkeehomosapien - Money For Sex
  • Lovage - Book of the Month

Last Updated on Wednesday, 11 April 2012 09:43

The Race For Ridiculism Concludes

The F Plus Race For Ridiculism concluded on Friday and as mentioned, we couldn't be more pleased with the results. Quite a lot of people went out and hunted down quite a lot of really great content, and that's gonna mean some excellent episodes on the horizon.

We want to make sure to give congratulations to JT, Cleretic, Cheapskate and Montrith - who were victorious in finding some of the worst things the internet had to offer, and so will receive the dubious honor of being part of a podcast in the near future. We're keeping the topics all secret at the moment, but this is all gonna be really fun to read.

Meanwhile, there's an additional squad of people who found a whole different batch of stuff for us to read, so our content is set for the next couple of months, and really, giving ourselves a break from mining strange fetish sites is our prize.

Feel free to use this comments section to brag about your successes, or call other people cheaters for winning.

Last Updated on Tuesday, 10 April 2012 20:04

Episode 70: The Ace and Cakes

READERS: Kumquatxop, Isfahan, STOG, Portaxx, Boots Raingear, and Lemon.

Edited by Portaxx

Hoosier biologist and unbelievable superpervert Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexual proclivities could all be charted on a seven point scale, from fully hetero to fully homo. Further, he attested that the majority of the species drifted towards the middle - in a grey area between gay and straight. But there's an oft-forgotten classification in this scale of sexuality, and that is for people who are completely dismissive of the whole affair altogether. I'm talking about the asexuals: people so unconcerned with sexual pursuits that they are free to spend their time more wisely, like telling the internet how unconcerned they are with sexual pursuits. This week, The F Plus doesn't even know what you're talking about. No really!

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NOTE: Lemon apologizes in advance for his microphone during this episode. It was fucked up and I didn't realize it until we were done recording.

  1. The Definition of Asexual
  2. The Definition of Demisexual
  3. The Definition of Gray A
  4. Incredibly Ace Moments
  5. I will never stop complaining.
  6. You Know You're Asexual When...
  7. The Relationship Misunderstanding
  8. Selections from the #asexual tag on Tumblr


And finally, Portaxx really wants to find some Non-Consensual Furniture Rearrangement Erotica. So, if anyone comes across any (or feels like writing some) I know it would fulfill a desire she's had for years.


  • Lenny Welch - Since I Fell For You
  • Paul Mauriat - Love is Blue

Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 April 2012 22:35

Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine [An Audiobook]

READERS: Jimmyfranks, Isfahan, Portaxx, John, Boots Raingear, and Lemon.

Edited by Jimmyfranks

One of our favorite sites, Regretsy, recently featured this Kindle-only novella by Kitty Glitter (author of Sherlock Holmes: A Case of Dicklessness and The Feline Puerto Rican), and fame immediately followed. The book made its way to the Kindle Top 20 list, Kitty Glitter collected a king's ransom for his efforts, and then the inevitable happened. This very much unlicensed and damging piece of fanfiction was removed from Amazon, and we all feared Wesley Crusher's erotic tale was never to be told again. We had to intervene. What we present to you here is Kitty Glitter's Wesley Crusher: Teenage Fuck Machine, in full, without asides or commentary.

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Here is the original posting about this book on Regretsy, with a few updates as it slowly gained in popularity. And if it turns out this story leaves you wanting more, you might be interested in another of Kitty Glitter's works, Bad Lieutenant: Pussy Blood for the low low price of 99 cents.


  • Star Trek: Encounters - Neil Norman and his Cosmic Orchestra
  • Star Trek Rap (feat. Prime Directive and Galaxy Class) - Those Aren't Muskets

Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 April 2012 21:48

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