Episode 46: A Man Short On Charm



READERS: Boots Raingear, Bunnybread, Isfahan, Jack Chick, John, Portaxx Squiddy McEnnui and Lemon.

Recorded by Boots Raingear, Edited by Lemon

The PUA (pick up artist) Community is filled with self identified experts on bedding women, all jockeying for prominence and trying to sell basically the same book. How does one peacock his way to notoriety and celebrity status to be identified as an alpha-PUA? Well, if you're tonight's subject (a man named Roosh V), you do it by spending most of your time banging away at your blog, and trying to find the best font for the "I HATE WOMEN" sign that you hang over your head. This week, The F Plus congratulates American women for making this guy leave the country.

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CONTENT READ, IN ORDER

  1. The Relationship Between Femininity & Education
  2. Treating Girls Like A Dick
  3. Never Tell A Girl You've Been In Love Before
  4. Why Mediocre Women Desire Hot Men (plus some reader comments)
  5. Turning Potential Insults Into Game
  6. How To Tell A Girl What You Do
  7. Are You A Real Man?
Music Used:
  • Ben Folds Five - Bitches Ain't Shit (Cover)
  • Cracker - It Ain't Gonna Suck Itself
  • Dead Boys - What Love Is
  • Tullycraft - Mental Obsession
  • Queen - Play The Game
  • The Suburbs - Crazy Job
  • Tiara Nicole - Real Man
  • The Cramps - All Women Are Bad
  • A.C. - I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman

  • (man I use a lot of songs in my edits)

ADDITIONAL FUN

  • As of this posting, Roosh's most current post is called Feminism Killed The Nice Guy. See, while Roosh agrees with some aspects of feminism, he notes "As long as women retain suffrage, our politicians will continue to appease them for votes by refusing to scale back anti-man laws." Thanks a lot, Nineteenth Amendment.
  • Roosh's guide on rating girls. A mathematician would assume that on a 1-10 scale, the number 5 would be average. For Roosh, 5 means "Studying her movements wouldn’t get your dick hard. You’d have to at least make eye contact with her taint to get the penis blood flowing."
  • This post, quite simply, is titled Never Listen To A Woman.
Last Updated on Friday, 03 February 2012 10:57
 

Episode 45: It's Only Supernatural

Readers: Boots Raingear, Bumpgrrl, Bunnybread, Jack Chick, John, Portaxx and Lemon

Recorded by Boots Raingear, Edited by John

Ew. Quit it. Ew. Quit it.

For those unfamiliar with it, Supernatural is a television show about two hunky guys who fight monsters. Pulling from The CW's demographic of sexually frustrated young women with disposable income, it's a show with a fan base of a surprising number of pervy women who want to see the two hunky guys do it with each other. You'd think these women would be deterred by the fact that the hunky guys are actually brothers, but apparently that makes it better. This week, The F Plus looks at Wincesters until we reach for our Winchesters.

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CONTENT READ, IN ORDER

  1. Definition: Wincest at the Supernatural Wiki
  2. Selections from The Supernatural Story Finder Livejournal
  3. Selections from The Supernatural Kink Meme Livejournal
  4. Selections from various Supernatural fanfics
If, for some reason, you don't want to spend a few hours scouring the livejournal communities for the correct reference to gay incest, here's a readalong document with only the content we read.
    Music Used:
    • Virginia Tingley - The Ballad of Jensen and Jared
    • Olivia Chrestomanci - Fight Them Hellhounds, Dean
    • (both acquired from the list of original fan songs.)

    ADDITIONAL FUN

    The Ackles Ass Equation

    I said yesterday that I would figure out the equation to Jensen Ackles' ass (hereby referred to as THE ACKLES ASS EQUATION), and now I've got it! I thought about explaining how I derived this equation, but figured not enough of you care to follow, so I won't waste anyone's time (but if you want me to explain it to you, feel free to ask).

    Above is a lovvvely picture of Jensen Ackles' BEAUTIFUL spinal column with a grid super-imposed atop it and a red line marking the curve of his spinal column. *TOUCH*

    SO HOT.

    And here's the equation to create such a curve:

    y=-(sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x))+10

Last Updated on Friday, 03 February 2012 10:59
 

F Plus Stickers: Batch One

The stickers are here! The stickers are here!

The mailman knocked on the door today and delivered me a package. 200 waterproof full color 2"x2" stickers printing on soft vinyl, featuring a chocolate eating monster that Portaxx drew. I love these stickers very much, and I think you might love them too.

If you agree that might be the case, I am happy to provide them for you. What I need you to do is send an e-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , and I'll fill you in on the process of how to get your hands on these (hint: It requires writing an address down on a piece of paper).

Oh! And if you were one of those thoughtful people who wrote a $Bill style review to iTunes or the like, please do let me know, so I can give you an extra little bit of love.

Sound good? Good! Then let's go through this batch o' stickers, so we can print another batch!

Last Updated on Friday, 22 April 2011 17:05
 

Episode 44: How To Listen To A Podcast

Readers: Boots Raingear, Bumpgrrl, Bunnybread, Jack Chick, Victor Laszlo, John, Jimmyfranks and Lemon

Recorded & Edited by Boots Raingear

Hello I am a podcast. STEPS

Find a podcast. There are quite a lot of podcasts on the internet. Try to find one. Listen to the one you want to listen to. If you like The F Plus podcast, you should listen to the F Plus Podcast.

Listen to the podcast. Using a program that allows you to listen to a podcast, listen to a podcast. Try to listen to the podcast with your ears, and try to enjoy listening to the podcast that you're listening to.

Quote the podcast incessantly. When talking with your friends, try to shout out certain catchphrases from the podcast. If the people around you also listen to the podcast, you can quote the podcast to each other over and over again, hopefully infuriating the one person who hasn't listened to the podcast as well.

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No. Not that.

CONTENT READ, IN ORDER

  1. How To Stop Being Racist
  2. How To Stop Staring At A Girl's Boobs
  3. How To Be A Wizard
  4. How To Get Your Husband To Stop Looking At Porn
  5. How To Be A Punk
  6. How To Live In A Haunted House
  7. How To Deal With Girls Calling You A Slut
  8. How To Remove A Tattoo At Home With Salt
  9. And then a whole bunch of titles of other HowTo guides available on WikiHow.
    Music Used:
    • Buddy Holly - Tell Me How
    • TMBG - Your Racist Friend
    • Sugar - I Can't Help You Anymore
    • Jane's Addiction - Thank You Boys

    ADDITIONAL FUN

    • You know what? All you really need is this link right here. That is the Random Article link on WikiHow (found near the top-right section of each page). You might not find that link will give you something wonderful every time, but it will give you something wonderful at least every third time.
Last Updated on Friday, 03 February 2012 11:05
 

F Plus PLUS: More Hans, More Shakespeare

Let's be honest here, sometimes when stuff gets cut from a podcast, there's a damn good reason for it. But then other times, we've got leftovers which we just can't keep to ourselves. To that end, here's three more bits from Hans Von Hozel and Shakespeare Hemmingway, possibly even crazier than the stuff that ended up in episode 43.

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First up, another offering from ShakespeareHemmingway, and yes, it is about Garfield. But it's also about Charlie Sheen. And it's an an insightful political look at the acceptable limits of persuasion, as well as a commentary on the meaninglessness of pop culture. Also there are talking jets.

CAST
NARRATOR: Boots Raingear, GARFIELD: Stog, CHARLIE SHEEN: Lemon, JON ARBUCKLE: John, BARACK OBAMA: Portaxx, A PLANE: Nutshell Gulag


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Then, another one by ShakespeareHemmingway, but this one doesn't feature Garfield at all! Instead, this is a psychosexual drama about the cast of Saved By The Bell, where the real enemy is death itself! Here, ShakespeareHemmingway pontificates on philosophical concepts that John-Paul Sartre was too terrified to write about.

NARRATOR: Portaxx, SCREECH POWERS: Stog, LISA TURTLE: Ophelia Flame, ZACH MORRIS: Acierocolotl, AC SLATER: Boots Raingear, PRINCIPLE BELDING: Lemon


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And finally, one more offering from Hans Von Hozel. This one is about the Beatles and their well-publicized feud with ABBA, playfully modernized (as Patrick Stewart did with MacBeth) to a modern age. Commentary here concerns digital rights ownership and the true value of an artistic work. All this, and his work is more concise than my summary of it.

READ BY: Nutshell Gulag


Thanks, Sliggy.
Thiggy.



Last Updated on Tuesday, 12 April 2011 17:31
 

Episode 43: My Fanfics Are Full of Emotion!

Readers: Acierocolotl, Boots Raingear, STOG, John, Nutshell Gulag, Portaxx, and Lemon. Guest Reader: Ophelia Flame

Recorded by Boots Raingear, edited by STOG.

This is the internet, and there are nerdy teenagers on it. As such, there are a lot of people writing a lot of fanfiction about their favorite television shows. Having a podcast with an interest in such things means you have to be discerning, and seek out the fanfiction authors with a certain je ne sais quoi, a mixture of verve and enthusiasm for the written word that causes you to rethink everything you've been taught. Or maybe it's just terrible prose. This week on the F Plus, we're learning Danube ain't just a river in Germany.

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Editors' notes: The audio in this is definitely not the best we've ever had, but we've cleaned it as much as we could. An active member of the cf_hardcore community

CONTENT READ, IN ORDER

  1. Hans Von Hozel's Reader Bio
  2. Twilight "Twilight vampires!" by Hans Von Hozel
  3. Russia Day "Russia absorbs all the countries!" by Hans Von Hozel
  4. Glee "The Glee Club try to make a singing Concert, but the crowd do not like!" by Hans Von Hozel
  5. Wallflower "A Flower makes a grow from its Wall!" by Hans Von Hozel
  6. Centipede Crufts Ok so I saw a horrible scary movie call 'The Human Centipede' and is was horrible but I make this version where it is not so scary and of the happy ending! : by Hans Von Hozel
  7. Quantum of Solace James Bond creates his spying by Hans Von Hozel
  8. ShakespeareHemmingway's Bio
  9. Garfield: First Blood Part II: Forever Fist Garfield battles Ashton Kutcher over fate of the soul of Natalie Portman! by ShakespeareHemmingway
    Music Used:
    • Anamanaguchi - Blackout City
    • Franzl Lang - Einen Jodler hör i gern
    • Dio - Rainbow in the Dark

    ADDITIONAL FUN

    • Firstly, just look at Hans Von Hozel's list of stories. As of this writing, he's up to 248 stories and they're pretty much all amazing. The ladies out there might be interested in his take on Downton Abbey.
    • Secondly and more importantly, while waiting for this episode to go online, Portaxx simply could not get the idea of ass-kicking Garfield out of her head. And so, as a gift to you, she's made these Garfield Wallpapers available to the F+ans out there. At this point, I'd explain how to set these images as your wallpaper, but let's be honest here: If you don't know how to do that, you're probably not listening to this podcast.

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    BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE

    We still have two more stories by Shakespeare Hemmingway. One is about Charlie Sheen, the other one is about Dustin Diamond. If you'd like us to put those online as well, please let us know in the comments.



Last Updated on Thursday, 05 May 2011 12:12
 

Episode 42: Suffer The Little Children


An active member of the cf_hardcore community

Readers: Boots Raingear, John, Kumquatxop, Portaxx, Victor Laszlo, Lemon. Guest Reader: Tiff Dynamite

Recorded by Boots Raingear, edited by Lemon

Most will agree that the decision to have a child is not one to be taken lightly, and in a modern world with new and complicated parenting concerns, some will remain resolute to never have children at all. But then there's a subsection of those people who will elect to be really annoying about it. We're tackling the livejournal community of cf_hardcore, a group of charisma-challenged individuals who feel they are constantly being persecuted by breeders. This week on The F Plus, we're finding new compound words to use with "crotch".

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Content Read (in order):

  1. Lets have some fun (a picture of the cf_hardcore utopia) by commanderd, lost_in_my_room, westly_roanoke, carnifex_atrox, cf_atheist, lots42 and yayfortaints.
  2. Christmas is for teh chyyyldren! by strathclyde (with replies)
  3. hey everyone! and introductory post + rant by otakin_dude
  4. RANT TIME (the original post has been locked. Portaxx has helpfully put it together into a Google Doc for you)
  5. Ah, I love the sight of birthing in the morning >_ by glittersavvy (with replies)
  6. Insane by bart_calendar
Last Updated on Tuesday, 06 March 2012 11:53
 

Episode 41: Lemon Types In A Title For This Episode

Readers: Bunnybread, Stog, Kumquatxop, Isfahan, Acierocolotl, John, Portaxx and Lemon

Recorded & Edited by Boots Raingear

The multiple award winning screenwriter Billy Wilder once said "Don't be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtitles obvious also." To that end, I think Mr. Wilder would applaud the fanfiction writers who we've profiled for this episode. We have Resident Evil and CSI screenplays featuring characters who actually speak their own stage direction along with the dialogue. And after that? A Star Wars crossover you probably weren't expecting. This week on The F Plus, dialogue won't be coming naturally.

download spacer itunes spacer google spacer rss This is almost a jill sandwich

Content Read (in order):

  1. My Resident Evil Outbreak fan script by Stephen Fisher (the-Monkey)
  2. CSI fan scripts by Short'n'Sweet
  3. Luke Skywalker vs [SPOILER OMITTED] by Betterman
Last Updated on Thursday, 12 September 2013 20:13
 

Episode 40: I'm So Lonesome I Could Post On This Forum

Readers: Boots Raingear, Isfahan, Jack Chick, Kumquatxop, John, and Lemon. Guest Reader: Frank West

Recorded by Boots Raingear, edited by Lemon.

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Despite various expensive websites strongly promoting their "social" aspects, the fact remains that internet forums are a fairly antisocial experience. You sign in with an alternate identity, type some words into a box, and hope that other people might do the same in response. We visited alonelylife.com, where forum users kvetch about their problems meeting people, chime enthusiastically about how much better their e-friends are, and trade terrible poetry, despite having never learned how a haiku actually works. This week on The F Plus, seven will be the loneliest number you could ever do.


Content Read (in order):

  1. I'm trying so shard but failing. by Zorensus311 (with replies)
  2. How long do normal people stay single for? by Sog1185 (with replies)
  3. How many people over 20 are still virgins? by tal (with replies)
  4. I don't like to meet real people, but yet I feel so miserable to be alone by white lycoris (with replies)
  5. About to ask out a 10/10 girl by SocratesX (with replies)
  6. girl suddenly says "oh I have a boyfriend" by Innerpeace (with replies)
Last Updated on Friday, 20 May 2011 17:16
 

Episode 39: Hoc Est Praecipue De Buttsex

Readers: Acierocolotl, Portaxx, Boots Raingear, Bunnybread, Stog, Jack Chick, John, Isfahan and Lemon

François Rabelais: Hoped to have been remembered for something else.

Recorded & Edited by Boots Raingear

With all of the various sexual proclivities which the internet has allowed us to examine, it's sometimes easy to forget that there were actually perverts writing perverted things long before the internet was even invented. Thing is, you had to be a notable French Rensaissance writer or Latin poet for anyone to even pay attention. Well, in an effort to bring some classiness to the podcast, we'll be reading selected works from Catullus, François Rabelais, and James Joyce, and see how they compare to The Modern Weirdo. This week on the F Plus, it's gonna be like a classical literature class with a really creepy professor.



Content Read (in order):

  1. Gargantua: Chapter XIII How Gargantua's wonderful understanding became known to his father Grangousier, by the invention of a torchecul or wipebreech by François Rabelais
  2. A Rebuke: to Aurelius and Furius by Catullus
  3. Greedy: To Aurelius by Catullus
  4. The Writing Tablets: to the Hendecasyllables by Catullus
  5. Revenge by Catullus
  6. Give-Away: to Gellius by Catullus
  7. Click for larger image. Regret it later.
  8. Free for All: to the Regulars and Egnatius by Catullus
  9. Disgusting: to Aemilius by Catullus
  10. Well Armed: to Victius by Catullus
  11. Siesta: to Ipsíthilla by Catullus
  12. Various selections from James Joyce's dirty letters to Nora.
Last Updated on Thursday, 28 April 2011 19:58
 


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